A Meshuggunah Pirate Movie

by Cheryl Petterson
with snark interludes by Mylochka and Cher

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PAGE THIRTEEN

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

Jasmine and Yuriko scouted the surrounding jungle as Odair and his people led the Raven’s crew toward the hidden entrance to Ming’s castle.

“Why we be riskin’ our lives for this God-cursed deserter again?” Riko muttered.

“So the God-cursed Priestess can get her hands on him and ‘defeat the sorcerer’s magic,” Jaz replied, her voice dripping sarcasm.

“You not believe in th' power of priestesses?” Del said with faux-innocence.

“Shut up,” Ruth returned.

“You’ll not be jokin’ about it, Jasmine,” Riko murmured, quickly glancing over her shoulder. “There’s real power behind it all. Can you not feel it?”

“All I feel is disgust,” the black woman returned “First the Cap’n goes all soft with Kirk, then Cat sneaks off with the French bastard, now we’re stuck actually helpin’ the God-damned Royal Navy…” She shook her head. “Our fair luck’s surely turned, Riko, an’ that’s a fact.”

“And you think it’s all naught but happenstance?” the Asian said, then her voice lowered. “Mayhaps you’ve been too civilized for too long, Jaz, but my blood still knows sorcery when it feels it.”

“I bet it do, Saki,” Del laughed.

It was Sulu's turn to tell the Cajun to shut up.

Jaz snorted. “What do the Japaners know about…”

“Hush!” Riko interrupted. “D’ye hear that?”

Jasmine, too, had stopped, the sound of movement in the surrounding jungle plain to her ears as well. They knew it couldn’t be their native escort – they’d neither seen nor heard them since they’d melted into the jungle. Both women crouched, weapons at ready as the sound came closer and closer.

When a figure pushed through the last bit of vegetation, Riko let out a cry of delight.

“Desireé!” she cried, and ran up to the red-haired woman, smiling widely.

Mon dieu, Yuriko?!” the French girl shouted back. “Oh merci, merci, I‘ve found you!”

The two young women embraced as Jasmine came forward, smiling.

“Where you been, slut?” she said affectionately. “We thought you’d decided you liked port life!”

Non, non,” Desireé breathed. “I was captured by the Chinaman, he’s held me all these months in his castle!”

Yuriko crossed herself, shuddering, and the French girl nodded in fervent agreement.

“He’s a monster, mes amis, a true monster,” she whispered.

“Well, the Science Section Section thinks so,” Daffy observed.

“You poor sweet thing,” Riko murmured, stroking her hair.

“Romance?” Del stated, wriggling his eyebrows.

“Ewww!” Ruth and Daffy complained.

Monique and Sakura just grinned at each other.

“Will the Capitaine have me back?” Desireé said, her wide blue eyes pleading.

“If you can convince her you didn’t jump her ship,” Jasmine teased.

Suddenly the French girl looked around. “Why’re you here?” she asked, fear clear in her voice.

“We’re goin’ t’ teach the damn Chinaman a lesson,” Jaz said. “The Cap’n’s workin’ with Kirk – can ye believe it, Des, Kirk – to free some deserter an’ brigand so’s some island priestess can have her way with him. It’s supposed to destroy the Chinaman’s power.” Her tone of voice gave her clear opinion of the plan.

“Like we needed a plot summary,” Daffy scoffed.

Desireé’s eyes went wider. “The witch has escaped him?” She whispered a long string of French under her breath. “Mon dieu, you cannot go in there alone! You’d be lost forever in his mazes! And he’ll be more monstrous in his fury than ever before.” She straightened, though there was stark terror in her eyes. “Take me to the Capitaine,” she said. “I can guide you.”

“There’s my brave girl,” Riko whispered, gently touching the French woman’s arm.

“Ewww!”
Jasmine snorted. “Come on. This way.”

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

Sahin had been true to his word.

“Of course, he's Haven,” Sulu chuckled.

He led Cat and DelMonde to a room high in the tower. Cat’s eyes lit up when she saw the pay chest, and she knelt before it, opening it and digging her hands into the gold, letting the sovereigns run through her fingers.

“Look at it, Del,” she breathed. “Enough for us all!”

Oui,” DelMonde grinned. “Now all we need do is get it out o’ here.” He spared a glance at Sahin. “You’ll help to carry it, Turk,” he ordered.

“Of course,” Sahin answered with a small frown.

Cat rose, eyes still shining –

and guards spilled into the room from all sides. Within moments, the three had drawn their swords and the clashing of steel against steel echoed off the stones around them.

“Damned Stell Clones,” Del muttered.

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

At the sound of battle, Ming rose from his throne, swearing under his breath. He summoned more of his guards and left his chamber to meet the challenge.

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

The pirates swarmed into the castle as soon as they could. Desireé remained in the passageway, terrified of meeting Ming again, and no one blamed her. They heard the din of battle, and ran to meet it. Odair turned to the French girl.

“Where does the sorcerer keep his prisoners?” he asked.

“In the cells, two turns to the west,” she answered, shivering.

The islander began moving where Desireé had indicated, then froze. Somehow, he knew this was not the right way. He closed his eyes, letting the power that was Iere guide his steps.

“Always said th' man not soul-blind.”

He didn’t question how this had come to be – the Called One was vital to her, vital to her people. She would know his essence and her need would lead Odair to him.

“You sure there no need t' worry 'bout...” Del began.

“I'm sure,” Sulu responded.

He closed his ears to the sounds of the fighting and moved carefully, silently, through the maze of corridors. At each turning, a tingling within him would tell him which path to choose, and he made his way unerringly to a small room, the inner sanctum of the sorcerer.

When he saw the Called One, tied to a metal cage, his heart sank. The wounds on the man’s back were numerous and deep. He was barely breathing.

“O' course, maybe there some'tin else t' worry about...” Del said lewdly.

“Shut up,” Sulu growled.

With a prayer to Kalaoucera, he deftly untied the ropes. Takeda groaned, lids fluttering over the dark eyes. With great care, Odair lifted the slender figure over his shoulder. He could sense Iere’s grief, and used it to guide his way out of the chamber and back to the secret exit.

The French girl gasped when she saw his burden. “Mon dieu, will he live?” she whispered.

Odair shook his head. “It is in the hands of the Priestess now,” he said, and disappeared into the passageway. He was trembling. If the Priestess hadn’t the power to restore her Called One… what then?

“Th' movie not have a happy ending,” Del pronounced. Everyone else threw popcorn at him.

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

Ming was most displeased to find his partner of many years, Yarbay Sahin battling with his guards. He was even more annoyed to see the French prisoner had escaped the Yarbay’s men, and had somehow managed to acquire a weapon. He called upon his power to strengthen his men… then his eye was caught by the blonde beauty who fought at DelMonde’s side. His breath caught, for she was even more lovely than the island priestess. Her slender form, moving with skill and grace as she brandished her rapier was mesmerizing. She was dressed in the clothing of a true pirate wench which barely covered her torso. Her hair was done up haphazardly, but in his mind he could see it tumbling over her shoulders – and his. She was a rare find, so different from Desireé – and so much more intriguing. His pet had lost much of her allure over the months, changing from a spirited delight to a cringing, pouting nuisance. But he could sense by the emanations from this new woman’s being that she would keep him entertained for far longer.

“Mother o' God, I gonna puke,” Del muttered.

He focused his mind, conjuring up all the sensual images he could, and sent his power into the pirate’s thoughts.

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

Cat’s entire body stiffened as a feeling unlike any she had ever experienced swept over her. Her large eyes went wide, her breath catching in her throat. Her very blood seemed to tingle inside her veins, her nether regions responding with sudden heat. Images of a tall, sleek, elegant form filled her thoughts, his knowing eyes beckoning her, his strong, lean body setting her senses aflame. Words whispered, it seemed, directly into her mind: come, my beauty. Share yourself with me. Give me the passion of your body and allow yourself to know the pleasures I can bring us both. You are lovely beyond compare, a sweet and strong pirate. Come to my side and I will show you untold power and untold wealth. Come to me, lovely one. Come to me.

“Pukin' here.”

She shuddered, any thought of resistance or refusal melting without her conscious will. Erotic pictures came to her, of kneeling over the masterful, exotic lord. She raised her arms, unfastening her clothing, letting it fall to the bed beneath her.

“Ooh la la!”

“Oh fo' th' love of...”

She loosed her hair, seeing his dark eyes gleam as the blonde tresses tumbled over him. He moved above her, taking her into his arms. His long fingers caressed her face, his lips murmuring words of heady promise. She fell deeper and deeper into his spell, her skin flushing, her body trembling with desire.

“What happened to the filter, Jade?” Jim whispered, his face flushed.

“Yeah,” Del echoed grimly, though his face was flushed as well.

Come to me, the voice again whispered. Free yourself from this battle, join my forces. Once I am victorious, we will share every pleasure, every passion. Come, my golden beauty, come.

Propelled by forces she couldn’t deny, Cat turned, clashing blades with DelMonde.

The Frenchman’s brow furrowed, his eyes narrowing. He backed a few steps, keeping his blade in a defensive position, unable to accept what his eyes told him. The pirate wench was enthralled, of that much he was certain.

“Don't you wish she was?” Daffy said to Del, a nasty grin on her lips.

“Shut th' fuck up. Pyotor still captive,” Del returned with a snarl.

Her gaze was fierce but unfocused, her attack of the same caliber. Fury he couldn’t explain rose in him, yet he couldn’t bring himself to mount a counter-attack. As the battle raged around him, he had a dark and murderous thought.

“Does he ever have any other kind?” Chekov wondered. There were snickers and snorts from others in the audience.

“All y'all like livin' dangerously, do ya?” Del warned.

He quickly maneuvered away from Cat’s assault, letting the men of the Enterprise close around her.

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

MeiLin’s crew charged into battle, joining Kirk’s men. The Commodore himself found it more difficult to concentrate now that he knew the true nature of the beings he battled. The Turk, Faik, had been right – they were all nearly exact copies of one another. That it was a feat impossible by the laws of science was enough to make Kirk’s blood run cold. He had never been a superstitious man, but the whispers of demonic magic sent their tendrils into his thoughts, and made him more than wary of these strange beings. It made his attacks a little less direct, kept him parrying and backing. It was not the way to win this battle, he knew, but the sharp edge of fear kept him unbalanced. He could only hope that the odd paralysis of thought had not overtaken his crew and the pirates as well – or MeiLin herself. They had to fight on, they had to gain time for the island priestess to claim her power…

Which is trusting in magic of another sort, is it not? he chided himself. Still, with the evidence before him, there was little else he could do.

From the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of DelMonde. The Frenchman had disengaged from a battle – with MeiLin’s First Mate?!? – and was grabbing one of the torches that lit the chamber. With a flash of sudden intuition, Kirk, too, disengaged and began shouting orders at his men.

“You always were a good strategist, James,” Jade murmured.

“Best captain in the Fleet,” McCoy agreed, but his grin had a touch of salaciousness to it.

“That's enough, Bones,” Jim told him.

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

DelMonde thrust the torch to the covering on Ming’s throne, setting it ablaze. He heard Cat snarling in rage and it fed his fury. To God-cursed hell with sorcerers and magic and pirates! There wasn’t a thing he knew of that would survive an inferno, magic or no.

He ignored the Chinaman’s minions, pausing only to parry any blows that were aimed at him. He set fire to anything and everything that would burn, moving through the twisting corridors without direction or plan other than to burn the accursed place to the ground. At last he found himself outside the tower cells in which he and Take and the Russian had been kept. To his surprise, he saw one of the pirates, and Chekov himself emerging from his prison.

“You mutinous cur!” the Russian shouted. “You would have left me to rot!”

“That a safe bet, ya dumb fuck, Del chuckled.

“Shut your God-cursed mouth, Moscow,” Del replied grimly. “If anyt’ing, I was leavin’ you to burn. Now get out of my way!”

“No, you will not escape justice again!” Chekov growled. “If I have to deal it out here and now…”

“Herbert!”

“You’re an imbecile,” the Frenchman returned scornfully. “Or did you not notice t’was a pirate who freed you?”

“We are working with them to recover…”

“An’ there be no time for talk,” Del interrupted. “If you not be wantin’ to burn wit’ this God-cursed castle…”

“Why should I believe anything you say?” the Russian insisted.

DelMonde made a deep sound of disgust, threw his torch to the ground, and landed a hard blow to Chekov’s jaw.

“Damn, I love this movie!”

“Perhaps that will knock some sense into that thick head o’ yours,” he grunted. He glanced at Jasmine, the pirate who had freed the Navy man. “This place doomed, cher,” he told her. “Get out while you can.”

Chekov shook himself, the punch seeming to have, indeed, opened his eyes. He saw the fire springing up around him and gasped.

“Daphne!” he shouted. “Ming still has her prisoner!”

“No, he doesn’t, Pytor!” came the hurried voice of Mistress Rosen. The innkeeper ran to the Russian’s arms, clinging to him desperately. “One of Captain Han’s women freed me, too!”

“Daphne!” Chekov cried, and the two were locked in a passionate embrace.

“Romance, romance...!"

Del scowled. “Get a move on, Moscow,” he advised.

“This way,” Jasmine said, and, parting reluctantly, the two began to follow her. Chekov spared a glance over his shoulder.

“I will not forget this,” he promised.

DelMonde shook his head. “But I wager you will,” he muttered, and went to find another torch – and a way out of the flames of his own making.

“'Cause you a dumb fuck moron.”

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

Odair wound his way through the jungle, becoming more worried with each step. The Called One had not revived, and with the power of the Priestess already so weak, he was no longer sure her aid would be enough. He had taken one of the tribe’s small canoes and left WaqWaq to bring Takeda to the secluded beach where the Priestess hid.

She was waiting for him and her eyes went wide with the sight of her Called One.

“The sorcerer’s doing,” Odair told her, and laid Takeda gently on the sand, cushioning the ravaged back with his own lean thigh.

There were tears of both grief and anger in her eyes as she knelt over the unconscious body.

“Can you heal him, Priestess?” Odair asked softly.

“I must,” she whispered.

“So she's a keheil now?” Daffy chortled.

She took a deep breath, taking Takeda’s arm and pulling it to her shoulder, slipping her arm beneath him. She felt the sticky blood on his back and shuddered.

Jilla hid her face against Sulu's chest as he murmured comforting words to her. “Just a psychocin, hon.”

“The memory is not,” she whispered.

Sulu held her closer.

“Curse him, the foul defiler of what is mine!” she hissed, and Odair echoed her words.

“He will be cursed.”

“Kalaoucera, Great One, give me the strength!” she begged.

Again, Odair echoed, “Great One, give her strength.”

Iere kept breathing deeply, her breasts rising and falling, faster and faster as she called all her power to her.

“Now that a sight I could stand t' watch fo' a good long while,” Del commented. Most of the males in the audience loudly agreed.

Odair breathed with her, his eyes closing, lending her all his energy. When she at last bent to Takeda, sealing her lips to his, Odair focused on the life-force that traveled from her to her Called One.

Then he turned away, for it was not for even the chief of the people to witness the power of the Goddess.

“Good t'ing we not able t' see him blush,” Del laughed.

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

Také felt a pressure on his lips, and breath between them. His back began to tingle, then sting, then burn with a fiery agony that lasted only seconds. He became aware of a Power enfolding him, renewing his strength and his eyes flew open.

“Her he'll let heal him,” Ruth humphed.

Iere’s face, her silver eyes staring into his. It was her full lips on his, her breath returning him to life. Incredulous, disbelieving joy consumed him, and he lifted his arms, crushing her small, lush body to him.

“Iere, Iere, you live?!” he whispered, and heard her voice in his mind.

Takeda Mitsuyori, my chosen, join with me, replenish my power!

Then she was astride him, he inside her, and magic sang all around them. The beach seemed to disappear, leaving him in a dark, rich jungle night. Water glowed beneath the Moon’s light, the sound of the night insects making a music to match their cries of pleasure.

The hoots and hollers and calls of "Ooh la la!" were nearly deafening. Sulu growled, trying to again hold Jilla close to him, to shield both her sight and hearing. But she was staring at the screen, her head tilted in curiosity.

"Is that truly how I appear to you?" she asked.

"Always," he murmured to her.

He felt himself growing strong, felt, too, the transfer of that strength to her. Then her skin began to glow, not with the turquoise power that had enchanted his katana, but with its own silvery emanation. It was beautiful, haunting, and his eyes drank in the sight even as she drank in his fluids. Her back arched, her hands clutching into his chest, and he, too cried out.

Jade stared at the screen her fingers poised, unmoving, over the statboard.

"Porn filters, Doctor," " Jim reminded Jade.

"Yes..." the doctor answered slowly, a flush creeping up over her face.

The jungle and the night fell away and he gasped as she toppled off of him. Immediately he was up, pulling her again into his arms. He gazed with fierce, perfect love into her eyes, and she returned his clear devotion. Then he noticed that her skin was still glowing.

“Now, my husband,” she murmured, “now the sorcerer will pay for his blasphemy.”

Jilla's sudden cry of shame was muffled against Sulu's chest. He sighed, more a sound of disgust than sorrow. Ruth glanced down at her friends, then caught Del glancing at them as well.

LiLing, he suggested silently, and Ruth frowned.

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

In Ming’s tower, the visions that were compelling Cat’s actions abruptly vanished, leaving her dazed and more than a little confused.

“Thank Jesus, Mary, Joseph an' half th' saints,” Del muttered.

“Don't you wish it was that easy?” Daffy cackled.

“Shut th' fuck up.”

She glanced around to all those fighting beside her, and blinked. Ming’s henchmen were disappearing, dissolving into bright flashes of turquoise light and smoke.

Then she became aware of the flames that were rapidly consuming the castle.

Ruth shuddered, and Spock gently touched her face. She gave him a wan smile, and he nodded.

“Get out, get out!” she screamed, and found herself frantically searching for René DelMonde.

Then a hand was grabbing hers, pulling her through the fire.

“Del, what by the blood of…?” she began breathlessly.

“No time, cher,” the Frenchman stated. “This evil place gonna burn straight t’ Hell. We gotta get out, now.”

“I’ll not be arguin’ with ya there,” Cat rasped, and followed him through the winding tunnels of the palace.

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

There was only one of Ming’s minions who hadn’t vanished. Stell shuddered as all the memories the sorcerer had stolen from him returned, along with the ability to, at long, last, think on his own. It had been so long… years since the evil had taken him, since he had become a mindless puppet to the whims of the sorcerer. The purloined energy wouldn’t last long, he knew – he had been weakened by too much magic and too many spells. But there was one thing he had to do, even knowing he would die trying. He had to punish the man who had used him.

“Go Stell!” Daffy shouted.

“MING!” he shouted and raced to the monster’s throne room.

The sorcerer turned from an open window, the flames all around him. One elegant eyebrow lifted in surprise, then he raised his hand and Stell felt his throat constricting.

“You were useful,” Ming said, his tone almost sorrowing. “I thought one of my own would have understood.”

Stell choked, dropping to his knees. With a sigh, Ming closed his hand, and Stell toppled, his remaining life force draining from him to the sorcerer’s hand.

“Alana's gonna get you for that,” Ruth giggled.

Ming turned again to the window. His plans lay in ruins and he cursed the power of the native Priestess. He acknowledged no defeat – this was only a temporary setback. There was no one in this existence who truly knew his power.

Until we meet again, little one, he thought, and moments before the fire engulfed him, a mist of dark green did.

When it cleared, Ming was gone.

The applause was deafening. Spock sighed.

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

It was a mad scramble outside the castle, pirates and Navy men piling into native boats and the dinghies from both the Enterprise and the Raven, rowing madly away from the inferno. MeiLin counted heads as best she could, hoping Kirk was doing the same. She had looked for him in the crowd, but had not, as yet, laid eyes on him. She did see her errant First Mate, running with the scoundrel DelMonde, but had seen no sign of the other brigand – or Mistress Rosen or Lieutenant Chekov. Still, with the fire rapidly spreading, she had no time to locate them.

When they had put WaqWaq behind them and were safely ashore once more, she hurriedly counted her girls, then went to where the Naval officers were gathering. Still, she saw no sign of Kirk.

"John?” she began calling, fear rising in her throat. “John?!”

“He’s here, Cap’n!”

She heard Riko’s voice and followed it, only to find the Commodore laying on the sands, the Enterprise’s doctor kneeling over him. She gasped, dropping her weapon.

JOHN!” she cried.

“There's true love for ya,” McCoy chuckled.

“He’s been badly hurt, Miss,” the doctor began.

“That’s Captain, t’you,” Riko snarled.

The physician arched a disdainful eyebrow. “He’ll need stitches and quickly if he’s to live,” he continued.

MeiLin’s heart thudded painfully in her chest. She stared at Kirk’s face. It was drawn tight with the pain of his wounds, but his eyes flashed to her.

“I can’t lose you now, John,” she whispered, tears filling her eyes.

“Best do as the lady says, Samuel,” Kirk managed hoarsely, and MeiLin sobbed, kneeling down, taking him into her arms. She held him still as the doctor worked on him, reveling in the way his arms tightened around her, even though she knew it was more likely than not in reaction to the pain of the procedure. She heard but ignored the grumblings of her crew around her. All that mattered was that John Kirk lived.

McCoy was grinning broadly. Jim and Jade avoided each other's eyes.

When the doctor was finally finished, he ordered one of the men to dip a rag in the sea water, then wrapped it around the stitching.

“That will keep the infection out,” he said, and Kirk managed a grimace of thanks. Then his eyes met MeiLin’s.

“Are you hurt, Captain?” he asked.

“No, you damn fool,” she replied, almost laughing in relief. “Me and my girls are better than you.”

“Or me and my men took the brunt of the fight,” Kirk returned.

“Oh, John… John…” MeiLin whispered. She bent her head to kiss him and was interrupted by Cat Valley’s disgusted snort.

“God’s death, will ye be lookin’ at that?” the First Mate sneered.

“We are!” several audience members laughed.

“Getting’ all cozy with the damned royals, are ye now?”

“You deserted my crew, Caitlin Valley,” MeiLin returned, her voice hard.

“Indeed? Then why am I here?” Cat demanded.

“Maybe because the island caught fire with you still on it.”

There were whoops and hollers and Ruth flushed furiously.

MeiLin glanced up to see DelMonde’s grimly amused face.

“I’ll not be takin’ orders from th’ likes of you no more!” Valley blazed, and turned.

“Cat, wait!” MeiLin called.

“For what?”

“I want you – all of you…” the pirate captain gestured to the rest of her crew, “to hear this, and mark it well.” When she had their attention, she turned back to Kirk.

“John, I’ve been the captain of the Raven ever since my father died,” she said. “It was all I’d ever known, and t’was a life that suited me well.” She paused, gazing softly at him. “’Til I met you, and lost my heart.”

Sha zevran,” Sulu murmured to himself, then caught the knowing look in Del's eyes and scowled. Then he shook his head, frowning in puzzled confusion.

She smiled sadly, hearing the gasps around her and the grunt of confirmation from Cat. “Tis true, John Kirk. I confess it freely. So I ask you now to tell me true. Is there any tender feeling in you for me?”

Kirk blinked and pulled himself as upright as he could manage. “Captain – MeiLin,” he said, and paused. “I’d be a liar if I said no, but… woman, you’re a pirate and a thief and…”

“I’d give it up for you, John,” MeiLin answered. “If you’d have me.”

“Give it up?” Lieutenant Riley began in shocked disbelief. “Commodore, you can’t trust the likes of…”

“I’ve never caught her,” Kirk interrupted. “And she’s never run too far ahead.” He met MeiLin’s eyes. “We’ve much to discuss, you and I, MeiLin Han.”

“Got that right,” McCoy said. Jade and Jim both frowned at him.

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