A Meshuggunah Pirate Movie

by Cheryl Petterson
with snark interludes by Mylochka and Cher

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PAGE TWELVE

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

Desireé watched the battle from a tower window. When she saw that Ming had taken three more captives, and that one of them was a woman, she made her decision. Ming was already unhappy with her, and now that he had taken a new plaything, she didn’t want to wait to be discarded. She had no doubt that the sorcerer wound not be gentle or lenient with her.

“He touches you again, I'll kill him,” Ramon promised.

“You not even there, Ray,” Del pointed out.

Ramon scowled at him.

She hurriedly made her way to the secret passage. She wasn’t sure where she would go, but anywhere had to better than Ming’s castle. If she could persuade someone to take her off the island, she had no doubt she could find work. She’d whored before, and if that was her only option, she could do so again.

“That fo' damned sure,” Del cackled.

“Watch it, DelMonde,” Ramon warned.

“You t'ink I afraid o' D'Artagnan-lite?”

“Charonge!” Monique snapped, then cuddled to Ramon's side.

As she crept along the corridor that led to the concealed entrance, she saw a shimmering from behind the concealing tapestry. Then it moved, pushed aside, and two figures emerged. She knew them both and gasped. She had last seen the handsome Frenchman being led to the Turk’s ship, and the woman….

She fell to her knees as DelMonde’s eyes met hers.

Ma petit, we meet again,” he murmured. There was anger in his gaze, but also the memory of desire and shared passion.

Ramon growled and started to rise.

“No brawling, mister,” Kirk warned and Ordona slowly sank back into his seat.

Ayez la pitié!” she cried. “I beg you, let me go! I can give you no aid, si vous plait, pitié, pitié!

“You know this scheming port whore?” Caitlin snarled.

Oui,” Del answered. “She delivered Moscow, Také an’ me to Lord Ming.” He glared down at the kneeling figure. “Did you not, cher?”

“I had no choice, René!” Desireé begged. “I paid for it, you know I did!”

“Not nearly enough,” was the Frenchman’s bitter reply.

Desireé’s wide blue eyes stared at him, her hands grasping his thighs in entreaty. “Please, Monsieur, for what we shared, let me go! I’ll tell no one, I swear…”

“What you shared?” Cat asked, her eyes narrowing.

Del turned to the Antari. “An' whyfor you care, darlin'?” he asked sweetly.

“I don't!”

“Where is the sorcerer?” Del said, ignoring the pirate’s question. “Where is the pay chest?”

“No, please, I cannot…” Desireé whimpered.

“Lead us to it and I’ll let you go,” Del stated.

“Just like that?” Cat snapped. “You don’t know this guttersnipe like I do…”

“I know her well enough,” Del returned, his eyes never leaving Desireé’s face. “She’s false through an’ through, but the castle’s a labyrinth. She can lead us or we can wander these halls for days.” His glare hardened. “What say you to that, my petit?”

Desireé shuddered. “If he finds me, he’ll do worse than kill me,” she whispered.

“If he finds you, he finds us,” Cat declared, “but we won’t be goin’ down without a fight.” She brandished her saber and Del held his pistol aloft.

“Go, Cat,” Ramon nodded.

“Your choice, cher,” he continued. “Help us or I swear I’ll drag you to Ming myself.”

“You’re not that cruel, Monsieur,” Desireé breathed.

The Frenchman’s smile turned cold. “Am I not?” he asked softly.

“He is, he is,” several people confirmed. Del scowled.

“Foul tempered son of a bitch,” Sulu reminded and the engineer sighed.

The girl paled. “I’ll lead you,” she whispered, “but then I go. Convenu?”

Del nodded. “Agreed,” he repeated.

As she rose, Cat moved closer to him. “You’re a fool to trust her, DelMonde.”

He smiled. “Better the devil you know, Mistress Cat.”

“By that logic, I should be trustin’ her more ‘an you,” the pirate returned.

Je aussi,” DelMonde agreed, his black eyes twinkling. “Let’s keep movin.”

“And just for the record, I do,” Ruth stated firmly.

Del shook his head.

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

Také was completely unrepentant regarding the information he had been forced to give Lord Ming. The pay chest wasn’t important. The Raven’s captain and the Commodore weren’t important. Faik’s defection wasn’t important. The only thing that mattered was freeing Iere.

“I hardly think so,” Chekov muttered.

“I know my priorities,” Sulu returned, giving Jilla a warm embrace. She smiled at him and he sighed contentedly.

He made quick work of the bars of the cell’s window, just as he had the others. It was smaller, and crawling out the window was a little more tricky, but he managed, and gave a soft whistle to the islanders waiting below. He saw Odair and another native woman emerging from the lush vegetation. With quick, agile movements, the woman vaulted up onto Odair’s shoulders. The katana was passed up to her and she held it by its tip, her skillful fingers avoiding the sharpness of the blade. Takeda leaned as far as he dared, reaching for the sword. It was still out of his reach.

Another, more slender woman climbed up onto Odair’s back, then onto the back of the first woman, standing on her shoulders. The sword was again passed up, but it was still a foot or two from Také’s hands

“Do you think they all take cheerleading?” Daffy quipped.

Odair reached up, grasping the first woman’s ankles. She locked her legs as the island man lifted her higher into the air. She did the same with the woman on her shoulders. After just a few precarious attempts, the Asian was able to grab the weapon by its hilt. With swift dexterity, he shoved it through the knot at the back of his head scarf. A few locks of hair drifted to the ground. Then he gave no more thought to those below him and started to climb.

“Not the hair!” Ruth cried, then giggled.

When he reached the window of the room in which Iere was caged, he grasped onto the stone ledge with one hand, the other grasping the katana. As he’d predicted, it sliced through the bars as if they were butter. With two strokes, the middle sections fell away, following the strands of hair to land soundlessly on the mossy carpet below the tower. He placed the blade on the ledge, and climbed into the room.

“Told you!” Sulu said triumphantly.

Iere’s soft beauty again took his breath away. His heart thundered in his chest as she smiled at him.

“Your words were true, my love,” she murmured. “I have only enough energy for the enchantment. Hurry, bring the weapon.”

Také did, holding it straight and upright before her.

“I bet somet'ing else straight an' upright,” Del chuckled.

“Shut up!”

She knelt, her arms rising, and he watched in wonder and amazement as a glow that was the turquoise of the sea formed between her hands. Her words were soft and in a language he did not know, though the sound of them filled him with both awe and desire. Before him, the metal of his sword began to take on the same turquoise glow, the hilt growing warm in his hands.

“Look at me, Takeda Mitsuyori,” she whispered. “Let my power flow into you and strike the cage as you did the bars of the window. “When I am free, you will have nothing to fear from Ming.”

“I have no fear of him now,” Také responded,

“You got that right,” the helmsman grinned.

“You are brave, my beloved one. It will make the magic stronger. Strike now. Hurry!”

He stared into her eyes that were the color of moonlight and heard again her call. He let it fill him, surround him, his body aching with need. He settled his grip on his katana and, keeping his gaze locked on hers, began the quick slices that would free her from her enclosure.

“You go, Roy!” Ruth called. Sulu stood and bowed, to the raucous cheers of the audience.

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

The touch of magic seared into Ming’s soul, and all at once he comprehended Iere’s plan. Fool! he chided himself. Her touch clouded the Asian’s mind from me! He hadn’t taken the proper precautions, even when he’d found the man had escaped. He had been lax, too certain of his own power to think the witch could call a mind from her magical imprisonment. But obviously she could. And had.

He had only moments to interrupt the transfer of her magic to the Asian, and he raced to his sanctuary.

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

Také whirled at the sound of the door to the tower room opening. Ming was rushing forward, a sword in his hand, and the Asian countered the blow, steel ringing against steel.

“Too late, motherfucker!” Del laughed.

“The cage!” Iere cried. “I cannot hold the power!”

Také made a spinning leap, his blade slicing through the bars. They glowed a bright blue, then dissolved and he again turned his attention to Ming’s attack.

“Iere, get behind me!” he called, and glanced over his shoulder to fix her position in his mind so as to avoid injuring her with his sword-work. To his horror he saw her sprinting to the window.

Heedless of the sorcerer, he dropped his katana, racing after her.

“Jesus, I'm stupid,” Sulu muttered.

“Iere, NO!” he cried.

But the small beauty had already flung herself out the opening. He reached helplessly for her as she spread her arms and legs, almost as though she could fly. As she plummeted downward, he fell back into the tower room, shock running through his body. He was shaking, sobbing, and he didn’t react when Ming stepped toward him, the sword pressing against his chest.

“You will pay for this, little bird,” Ming said, his voice a hiss of malevolence. “You will pay for a very long time.”

Také hung his head as guards came into the room. What did it matter? Iere was lost.

There were groans of disappointment and Chekov actually clapped a hand to Sulu's shoulder in commiseration.

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

A gasp arose from the islanders as their Priestess took to the air. Tribal legend held that the pale-skinned among them, those who became servants of Kalaoucera, had the ability to turn themselves into snowy white cockatoos. As one they shaded their eyes, breaths held, certain they were about to witness the fabled transformation. Yet Iere continued to fall and Odair regained his senses. He watched her body, positioning himself carefully, and when she reached him, he held out strong arms, catching the small figure with deft skill.

“Thank god for Jer,” Sulu breathed.

One look at her face told him why she had not shifted shapes. Her eyes were closed, her head lolling back.

“Her energy is gone!” he called to her people. “She has been held captive too long!”

There were murmurs of dismay as the islanders gathered around her.

“Come, we must take her from this place. We must give her our life-force. Then perhaps she can recover.”

“I second that, mon ami,” Del said. Sulu reached over and punched him on the arm.

“But where is Takeda?” one of the women asked. “Where is her Called One? Only he can restore her.”

“Damn straight!”

Odair glanced up at the tower. He had half-expected the slender young man to come flying out the window after Iere.

“The sorcerer has him,” he answered grimly. “But we must get Iere to safety. She can help us decide what to do to save him.”

With silent speed, the islanders again disappeared into the jungle.

“Take care of her, babe,” Sulu murmured fervently. Jilla rested her head on his arm.

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

Yarbay Azim Sahin strode through the corridors of Ming’s castle, contemplating the Sultan’s likely reaction to the three newest acquisitions – assuming Faik could be persuaded to give up his dark beauty. The tall, strongly-built man had been his right hand for years and Sahin had never known him to put personal pleasure ahead of his duty to Sidi Ahmed – but there was always a first time for everything.

“When it's about me, you bet your sweet ass, sugar,” Uhura preened.

Ahmed would like the smaller of the two males – those innocent brown eyes would drive the sultan mad with desire.

“Ewww!”

The taller Frenchman could be a problem; even after the necessary steps taken to make him a eunuch, Sahin doubted he would become docile. But he was not the Sultan’s type at all. Perhaps, Sahin considered, one of Ahmed’s daughters would enjoy a plaything – except he doubted the Frenchman had the requisite discretion for such a role.

There was uproarious laughter and Del shrugged.

So caught up in his thoughts was he that he didn’t notice the three figures moving stealthily toward him until it was too late to react with a show of force. Rather than chastise himself for his inattention, he simply stopped, facing them. After all, who could possibly guess there was danger to be faced in Ming’s own lair – except, of course, from Ming himself.

The blonde pirate wench struck what could almost be called a pose, and announced, “You pay for your treachery, corsair scum.”

“Shouldn't that be Dealer scum?” Daffy said brightly.

Sahin folded his arms, one hand going to stroke his neat beard. The Frenchman stood behind her, his pistol aimed steadily at Sahin’s chest. Ming’s chattel cowered behind him, and Sahin sighed.

“However did you escape my men?” he asked the man.

“One of your own deserted your stinkin’ hole of a ship,” the pirate wench replied with no little bit of smugness. “My crewmates and the bastards of the Enterprise took care of the rest.”

Sahin regarded DelMonde. “Cat got your tongue, Monsieur?” he said, smiling at his own joke.

The audience groaned.

Cat stiffened. DelMonde didn’t so much as smile.

“Give me an excuse, you God-cursed charonge,” he returned grimly.

“Now now, my friends, there’s no need for violence,” Sahin demurred. “I’m a decidedly neutral party. Perhaps we can come to some mutually beneficial consideration. Which of my men did you say defected?”

“Havens are always practical,” Sulu noted with a grin.

“I’ve not said as yet,” Cat rejoined.

“T’was Faik!” the Frenchman almost crowed.

“Hmm,” Sahin returned, though his heart sank. If it were true…. What little chance I had to escape this with my skin has taken a decided downturn. He thought quickly. “Then allow me to be of assistance,” he said. “I propose a joint venture. I’ll take you to the Royal pay chest, help you against Ming, and you’ll allow me to make my way back to Persia.” He smiled. “With a small fee, of course.”

“What, not 'on the house for an old friend'?” Ruth commented.

“Havens are always greedy,” Daffy said in the same tone Sulu had used, though it was clear hers was cynical.

“I’ll not be trustin’ you as far as I could spit, Turk,” DelMonde growled.

“Consider, Monsieur,” Sahin said smoothly. “Without Faik, my options are severely limited. There’s no need to trust me. Trust my instinct for self-preservation.”

“Well, there is that,” Daffy conceded.

Ming’s woman breathed, “Let him take you to the sovereigns, René. You have no more need of me.”

“Worthless slut!” Cat snarled.

“Sahin’s been tricky,” DelMonde mused, “but it be God’s own truth he has some kind of honor.” He gave Desireé a cold look. “She’s already proven false.” He inclined his head toward Sahin. “And he’s no kind of temptation.”

“Meaning that heartless wench is?” Cat shot back.

DelMonde grinned at her. “I mentioned before, cher, I’m French.”

That got almost universal laughter; except, of course, from Ruth.

The pirate grit her teeth, glaring at Desireé. “If you run to the Chinaman…” she warned.

Non, non!” the girl gasped out. “I won’t be coming back here, I swear it!” Then she turned and raced back the way they had come.

“If you betray me, Sahin, I’ll run you through, as God is my witness,” Cat vowed.

“If I not shoot your privates off first,” DelMonde added with a cold grin.

“See how you like bein' a damn eunuch,” Del elaborated.

Sahin nodded. “Come then. Ming’s gone to see to his witch. We don’t have much time.”

He turned and began leading the two through Ming’s lair, back to his audience chamber.

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

Takeda hung from an iron cage, his back striped with uncounted welts, the blood still bright red and oozing from the wounds. He was barely conscious.

“Ouch!” Ruth said. “That looks too familiar, Roy.”

“Don't remind me,” Sulu muttered.

He had told Ming nothing more, for there was nothing more that mattered to him. Iere had fallen to her death, of that he was certain, for he could no longer hear her sweet siren song within him. He knew Ming believed he was simply being brave, or foolishly stubborn – or perhaps the sorcerer gained some pleasure or even power from the force of the torture he inflicted. It hardly mattered to Také. He no longer cared about the Enterprise or the Raven or the Kirat. He no longer cared about his own life, or the pain that seared through his body. He did not even care about Ming’s pleasure or power. The only thing he had said to the sorcerer was a rasping, “Kill me.” To which Ming had replied, “You will die, little bird, but not too soon, hmm? There is so much more to be had from you.”

In his despairing state, it hadn’t even frightened him.

“You surely got it bad, mon ani,” Del said with a grin.

“I am well, my love,” Jilla soothed softly. Sulu hugged her.

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

Ming sat on his throne, contemplating the flow of anguish from his prisoner. It was sweet to his senses, filling him with the strength that his tortures were slowly draining from the boy. He needed it, far more than he would ever let on; certainly more than he would ever tell the pitiful Asian. He knew Takeda thought Iere dead, and it served his purposes to allow him to believe it. The hopelessness was yet another source of power. And he knew he would need every advantage if the witch were to come fully into her own.

“Logical,” Ruth smiled at her husband. “If a little conniving,” Daffy put it. Ruth stuck her tongue out at her friend.

Still, that was very unlikely. She had Called his captive, and she would not be whole unless and until she claimed him as her own. Her power was bound up in him, and as long as Ming kept him alive, she could not pull it back and Call another.

The fact that Ming relished the slow punishment in and of itself was, as the English put it, only icing on the cake.

“Boo! Hiss!

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

Iere had recovered by the time Odair and the islanders reached the combined Navy/pirate camp. The tall native set her reverently on her feet, the rest of her people clustering around her protectively.

“Ol' Jer always been th' protective sort,” Del commented with a half-smile.

“You gotta worry about that, Kam?” Daffy added with a twinkle in her eye.

To everyone's surprise, it was Jilla who answered.

“No,” she said, and Sulu smiled at her.

She breathed deeply of their scent, gathering strength from them.

“Where is Takeda Mitsuyori?” she asked.

“Forgive us, Priestess,” Odair replied, kneeling before her. “He is within the sorcerer’s lair.”

Her silver eyes flashed not in anger, but in anguish. “I must join with him!” she cried.

“There are foreigners here, his compatriots,” Odair told her. “It was their plan which allowed the Called One to free you. Perhaps they have another such idea.”

Iere rose, shaking off the lingering effects of her captivity. “Take me to them,” she said.

Odair bowed, and led her through the trees into the clearing.

“Let the romance begin!” Ruth called.

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

MeiLin gasped and Kirk turned a bright shade of red as the islanders came into view. There was a strange, pale woman with them, and it was her clothing – or lack of it – that startled them both, quite apart from the disconcerting ability of the islanders to seemingly appear from nowhere.

The audience once again signaled their approval of the lack of clothing. Sulu scowled. Jade sighed.

The small woman walked up to them, her voice low and musical.

“You are the commanders of these people,” she said.

“Captain Han, Commodore Kirk, this is our priestess,” Odair said as he, too, stepped up to them. “She is called Iere. It was she who Called Takeda, she who he has risked his life to free.”

“Where is Lieutenant Chekov and Mistress Rosen?” Kirk asked, trying not to stare at her nearly naked form.

Sulu risked a small glare at the captain, and Jim shrugged, grinning.

“I know not these names,” she replied. “I know only that the sorcerer has my soul still in his keeping. Odair told me you could save him.”

“It was his intent to save you, Priestess,” MeiLin offered.

Iere smiled briefly at her. “And so he did. But if I am to defeat the sorcerer’s magic, he and I must be one.”

“See? Romance!” Ruth said again.

MeiLin and Kirk exchanged glances, both quite certain of her meaning.

McCoy cackled. “You got that right, Ruthie.”

“If it’s the only way to get the pay chest back…” the pirate murmured.

“And we must rescue Pavel and Miss Rosen,” John returned.

“Ming will expect another assault.”

“But if we were to use the back passage Lieutenant Chekov spoke of…”

“Oy, they're getting all Hanirk...” Ruth giggled.

“Ick,” Daffy commented. “Sounds like a disease.” 

"Hanirk?" Jilla questioned.

“I believe Ruth was making a reference to a phenomenon similar to your ability to complete one another’s thoughts,” Spock explained to the Indiian.

“Yes,” Chekov continued laboriously, “Han and Kirk, combined in a fashion similar to that of Valjiir, the ‘Val’ taken from the first syllable of Miss Valley’s name, and the ‘jiir’ taken from…”

Del thumped him on the head to shut him up, receiving a grateful grin from Sulu.

“He could’ve just said ‘never mind,” Ruth commented.

“Yeah, but unlike other people, he always do,” Del pointed out to general snickers.

“Another diversion…”

“But this time, a true attack as well.”

Their eyes met and MeiLin blushed and glanced away. A smile played over Kirk’s lips, then he turned again to Iere.

“I think, my lady, that we can come up with a workable plan.”

“Romance, romance, romance,” Ruth began.

“An' what happen to th' 'let's get past these borin' parts and get back to fightin'?” Del called.

Ruth stuck her tongue out at him.

~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~

It was decided that Kirk and his men would lead the frontal assault, the Commodore arguing that his crew was better equipped for such a dangerous feint. MeiLin agreed, pointing out that her crew was by far the better at covert actions. Odair declared that while Iere must remain behind in safety, he and his people would lend their aid to the battle.

“Protective and brave,” Sulu murmured.

“Go with the pirates,” Iere told him. “The sorcerer must not see you, lest he decide to kill Takeda Mitsuyori.”

“It shall be done, Holy One,” Odair said with a deep bow.

“Not t' mention jus' a l'il bitty bit worshipful,” Del added.

“There be only one little problem,” Coriander stated. “Those what knew how to get to the secret entrance are no longer with us.”

Faik grinned at her. “I know it,” he said.

“Of course,” Uhura grinned.

“As do we,” Odair added.

The Turk’s smile grew wider. “Good. Then you can lead the women and I’ll be joinin’ the main battle. That be certain to get Ming’s attention.”

“I stayin’ with you, Kaan,” Cori insisted.

“Of course,” came from Sulu, Daffy and Ruth.

The large man placed his arm around the dark-skinned beauty’s shoulders. “I’ll not have it other, Cori,” he murmured.

“Romance,” Daffy smirked with a glance at Ruth.

“Timing is critical, John,” MeiLin said. “You’ll have to have the guards well engaged by the time we reach the entrance.”

“They will be,” Kirk assured. “I am well versed in military tactics. Just remember your first objective is to find and free Takeda, Chekov and Miss Rosen. Don’t let the lure of gold sway you.”

The pirate captain frowned. “And don’t let scantily clad native girls sway you, John Kirk.”

McCoy snorted. Jade frowned.

The Commodore actually chuckled, but made no other comment. “Best of luck to you, Captain.”

“And to you, Commodore,” MeiLin returned with a smile.

“Roman...” Daffy began again.

“Oh, shut up,” Ruth scowled.

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