Log Entry: Dr. J.M. Han –
Something’s going on with Mr. Paget. I can’t put my finger on it. Not that he’s not an excellent Security chief – very perceptive, hard when he has to be and sympathetic when it’s called for – very efficient, quick on the uptake and a good, strong command of his field – it just seems to me that he’s a little too eager to play ‘just a dumb-redshirt-ma’am’ with me. He’s good for James – whose facility at returning to Command is nothing short of astounding. The Security Section always seems to take changes in Command structure more easily than any other. But Mr. Paget always seems to be watching James – or me – a little too closely. Of course, that could be why he’s so good at his job. Or perhaps I just got used to Sulu’s seemingly effortless ability to sense what was going on around him.
And speaking of the new captain of the Drake, I wonder just how gifted he really is? I am certain that not all the awkwardness following the undercover mission to infiltrate the Sevrinites was due to increased chemical usage. Xenoneurophene has to have something to enhance. But I digress.
Back to Mr. Paget… I have considered that I myself may be a little more – aware – of the way people look at me and James. Not that I’d diagnose myself as paranoid – but after nearly a year under Admiral Baker, I’ve become much more wary of hidden agendas. And Mr. Paget definitely seems to have one.
I wonder if I can find a way to access his classified records? Damned Security protocols. I understand the precautions, Security being almost as much need-to-know as medical records are. But it certainly is inconvenient.
I hate being inconvenienced.
I’ll have to keep my eye on Mr. Paget.
Captain’s Personal Log:
I talked to Bones earlier today, and he’s apparently decided to embark on a course of action which could be entitled “Damn the lady’s pleasure, full speed ahead!” I made the mistake of telling him once, a few months back, that any relationship other than a professional one would, quote, have to wait on the lady’s pleasure – the lady being Jade Han. It’s been several months since Jade officially stopped being my therapist, and Bones says that’s long enough to take care of any ethical questions – but I think I know Jade better than he does. Her ethics are about as intransigent as Spock’s logic, and we have been continuing with our weekly chats about my adjustment back to life outside Jude. Of course, that’s down from daily – mostly due to the demands on a captain’s time. I didn’t like having to cancel on her, so we agreed to reduce the schedule, both of us also agreeing that we could meet whenever time allowed outside that schedule. Fortunately, that seems to be working out well. I still see her almost every day outside Watch hours. We have lunch or dinner together often – usually with Bones or Spock, but not always. And she, unlike some others, seems to enjoy what the crew calls my “Film Festivals.” And she’s actually gotten me to like classical music.
Forgive the romantic sigh.
I’ve read up on the ethics of doctor/patient relationships. They’re generally frowned on because of the disparity in power – a doctor can exert too much authority over her patient simply by virtue of her position, whether or not either intends or even recognizes the influence. It’s much like the conundrum of a captain/crewmember relationship – which, thanks to the Silmarils, I’ve begun to rethink. The disapproval seemed to them – and increasingly, to me – to be based on the idea that people are children who need to be protected from themselves, the way the Prime Directive protects allegedly ‘lesser’ races. But I wonder – can’t two adults have a personal relationship that is based on a dynamic deliberately different from any professional one? Spock and Ruth do. Sulu and Jilla do. Hell, Bob and Sarah April have for decades. And since, in the case of Jade and me, one professional relationship has her in greater authority, and the other has me in a power-over position, wouldn’t they cancel each other out anyway?
I think so. I really do.
So maybe Bones is right and I should stop all the navel-gazing and let her know how I feel.
Terminus: Starfleet Headquarters
Shipyards
Cmdr.R.MValley –V4723258/SPE
Hey, fruychik –
How’s HQ this time of year? Have you managed not to kill all the hapless computer schlubs you’re surrounded by? Has Silver Streak gone nova on all the other engineers? Have the two of you successfully sublimated all that excess and unfulfilled energy which should be enough to power the Fleet by now?
(“Bitch,” says Mrs. Spock)
“Cow,” I reply.
“Desperate.”
“Jealous.”)
And speaking of both desperate AND jealous… Now that the entire League of the Libidinously Super-Charged has moved off the ship (with the exception of Monique – oh, I didn’t mention DelMonde transferred? Not that you care or anything, but he’s on the Drake. Sulu better lock his chastity belt – and damn it, now I’ve got that picture in my head. Eww!) I feel it’s my solemn duty to keep up the reputation of the Enterprise as a floating cat-house. Pav seems just fine with that. In fact, he’s been quite enthusiastic about it. And let me tell you, having to make up for you AND Kam AND Cajun is no mean feat. Lucky for me Pavel has vitamins.
His Bwananess and the Shrink are still playing coy with each other. The line’s seventeen to one that they’ll visit the Observation Deck or Jim’s Private Rose Bush before the month’s out. What should I put you down for?
And something’s going on with Cobra – he’s not moping around like he’s lost his best friend. In fact, he seems engaged and friendly and nosy – Clave-Cobra, not Redshirt-Cobra – except when he’s being a redshirt. He hangs out with Uhura a lot (and no, there’s no line on that at all. Talk about a sucker bet…), but he also seems to manage to be in the rec room or mess when Bwana and the good doctor are. I’d swear he’s taking notes. Maybe he’s got a betting pool on with Security?
Anyway, Pavel says hello. I’ve gotta run, I’ve got an experiment running in Chemistry, and that fool Munson couldn’t tell a prophase from an anaphase.
Daf
Origination: U.S.S. Enterprise
NCC 1701
Communications
Lt.Cmdr.N.Uhura-U3126147/COM
Terminus: U.S.S. Drake
NCC 541
Security
Lt.Cmdr.T.Ryan-R3419098/SEC
Hi, Tara,
Here’s the latest. I’ve gotten to know Jeremy Paget quite well. Don’t be jealous, sugar, it’s nothing serious. He’s got a surprisingly submissive streak – but I suspect you know that. Do you like it as much as I do? I’ll bet your captain did. Anyway, he’s smart and funny and a pleasure to spend time with, even if he does talk about you a lot (smile). And he says hello.
The word is the Captain and Dr. Han have actually talked about starting the relationship everyone else knows they want to have. Jim’s doing very well, by the way. Everyone is so proud of him. Commander Spock slipped back so easily into Second-In-Command it’s almost enough to make one wonder if the last two years was some kind of mass hallucination. Of course, McCoy never lets him forget it, so…
Ramon and Monique are now the ship’s Official Couple – until Jim and Jade go public – which annoys Daffy no end. I keep telling her if she and Pavel didn’t break up on a regular basis it would be them. She says that Ramon and Monique are just as turbulent. Which is true, but Ramon’s such a romantic, it’s hard not to put him in Sulu’s place. Or maybe that should be Jilla’s – since he’s endlessly loyal and Monique’s the slut… and please don’t tell your captain I said that. How is he faring? I hear nothing but good things from the intership grapevine. Here’s hoping he keeps it up. Say hello to him for me.
How is DelMonde doing? I felt so sorry for him after his last mission here. It was idiocy for the Brass to send him back here. Spock’s gotten a lot less rigid since he left – not that that’s any surprise. We all do our best to try and keep Spock from retreating into his Vulcan shell now that Ruth’s not around. I love being able to route her messages to him – it makes him so happy.
The daily Fleet communiqués are coming in. I’ll let you know if there's anything juicy in them.
Uhura
Origination: U.S.S. Enterprise
NCC 1701
Chief of Security
Cmdr.J.M.Paget-P4038751/SEC
Terminus: Jude Hospital
Chief Administrator
Adm.C.R.Baker-B2319747/MED
Admiral Baker,
As per instruction, enclosed is final evaluation of subjects Han, J.M. and Kirk, J.T. It is my professional opinion that there are no undue lingering effects from Captain Kirk’s unfortunate situation, nor is there any cause for concern or suspicion regarding Dr. Han’s evaluations of his condition. In their professional relationships, both have conducted themselves with all due propriety. Captain Kirk’s functioning as commander of the U.S.S. Enterprise has returned, in all respects, to the high standards noted by all previous evaluations of two years, seven months ago. Dr. Han’s procedural and diagnostic capabilities and therapeutic rates of success have likewise not varied from her superlative prior assessments. I find no reason to continue my surveillance, as both subjects are performing their duties in a more than acceptable manner, and their personal interactions with each other and the crew remain consistent with each one’s psychological profile.
So, in conclusion, with all due respect, Admiral Baker, call off your voyeuristic vendetta. The fact that James Kirk and Jade Han are in love has no bearing on their capabilities as commander and doctor.
Submitted, with copies to the Surgeon General and the Chief of Starfleet Medical,
Dr. J.M. Paget
Origination: U.S.S. Enterprise
NCC 1701
Executive Office/Chief of Sciences
Cmdr.Spock-S2113129/SCI-CMD
Terminus: Starfleet Headquarters
Shipyards
Cmdr.R.MValley –V4723258/SPE
My beloved Dei’larr’ei,
Your work on the Nest ships is, as always, superlative. I am gratified that your progress is several weeks ahead of schedule, for personal reasons as well as the more practical ones. I find that, contrary to standard opinion, the days have not grown shorter, nor the nights any easier to bear alone. Dr. McCoy continues in his quest to ensure that I do not revert to what he calls Vulcan norms in your absence, but I fear such detachment is the only way I can adequately cope with our separation. I trust you will not find me too onerous at our reunion – which is now, assuming that your progress continues at its current rate, less than five point six three eight standards months away.
I miss you, beloved.
Jim continues in good health, both physically and psychologically. He and Dr. Han have begun a more personal relationship – I believe you won a rather substantial amount of credit in the ship’s wagering on that occurrence. They are discreet, of course, but make no secret of their affection for one another. I suspect that, before the Nest ships are launched, they will also make their relationship a legal one. From Miss Gollub’s rather gleeful smirking, I assume that there is also a betting pool on that.
Your friends and colleagues all ask me to convey their good wishes to you and, of course, to Mrs. Majiir. Please add my own personal greetings to her.
I love you, Ruth. I await your next message with anxious expectation.
As always, I remain your devoted husband,
Spock
Log Entry: Dr. J.M. Han –
The recent flurry of activity has finally subsided and I have a moment to catch my breath. Mr. Paget must have called in every favor discreet Security men accumulate in order to arrange the aforementioned flurry. He took a shuttle to Terra, picked up Jilla, and rendezvoused with the Drake just in time for that ship's week-long leave. From Uhura's account of Tara Ryan's account of Captain Sulu's surprised delight - not to mention Tara's own - the objective of keeping Sulu from howling at every moon they passed (Dr. Rendell's words, not mine - though it's certainly an apt description; oh, Lian Rendell is the Haven CMO of the Drake), Paget's plan was a roaring success. Meanwhile, we headed to Terra ourselves, arriving in time for Spock to spend five days with his wife before Paget returned with the shuttle and Jilla. From the reporting of Terra's number one gossip monger, Rachel Kamens, that reunion, too, was a roaring success.
As was my leave with James. And although this is a personal log, I won't go into detail. Suffice it to say that he is as romantic as Sulu. The finest restaurant, the best hotel - even the highest quality of Rigellian, though he himself stuck to champagne. He is as attentive a man as I could ever hope for.
Forgive the sigh. I'm not at all used to my romances actually working out you know.
At any rate, we're now back to the Enterprise's normal routine. One interesting note. I received a communique from Admiral Baker, informing me that I was officially off probation. Which was something of a shock, considering that I had no idea I was on it. He mentioned favorable reports on my conduct, but didn't say from whom. Coincidentally - or maybe not - I've noticed Paget's scrutiny has seemed to let up. I have to find a way to crack his personnel file.
Origination: U.S.S. Enterprise
NCC 1701
Chief of Security
Cmdr.J.M.Paget-P4038751/SEC
Terminus: U.S.S. Drake
NCC 541
Command
Captain T.Sulu - S-3419098/CMD
Hey babe,
You're welcome already! I was more than happy to give your crew a much needed break from you (grinning). And spending a couple of weeks with Lady Jilla was a wonderful way to get to know her better. Besides, you've had a few weeks to go back to climbing the bulkheads so....
Things are good here. The Captain and Dr. Han are getting along famously. Daffodil's taking bets on if they'll get married before the Nests are finished or after. Personally I think Jim's gonna wait until he knows whether or not he'll be getting a new ship. After all, he can't take a chance on her getting assigned to one when he's not. Speaking of which, the same dilemma could apply to you and Lady Jilla. You don't for a minute think Starfleet's not gonna put her on a Nest, do you? So get your ass in gear, son (as Cajun would say). I'm sure I can get Daf to give up some blackmail material if you need it.
Speaking of Cajun, how's he doing? There have been rumors in Security of "incidents of significance to Intelligence" regarding N.C. and an Ensign named Dylan Paine. Let me know what you can. And let me know if N.C. needs to talk to his personal shrink.
Hope to see you again soon - for the Nest launches if not sooner. Love you, babe.
Jer
Captain’s Personal Log:
Jade asked me for a favor today. She wants to get into the classified portions of Commander Paget's personnel file. I know what she's looking for, and I'm tempted to just tell her. I have a call in to Admiral Bradigan for permission. As far as I know, only he, Jack Aronson and the upper echelons of Fleet Medical know - and me, undoubtedly for the same reason Jack knows. Should some kind of emergency come up, we'd have to be told, and better to avoid all the unnecessary drama at the time of such an emergency.
I should be complete - I'm certain Captain Sulu knows because they've been friends all their lives and he would have been around when Paget was getting his degree. And from the way Paget hovered over DelMonde for the brief time they were both serving on the Enterprise, I'd be surprised if he doesn't know - being a telepath.
And Spock likely knows - good First Officers knowing such things. Which means Ruth could know. Not that Spock would disclose it on purpose, but given all the trouble that keeping secrets has caused in their marriage, they've likely exchanged information on a telepathic level that neither one of them would acknowledge out loud.
And Jilla Majiir has to know. Not only from Sulu, but if Ruth knows.... well, can Val not tell Jiir?
And Uhura knows everything.
So maybe I don't need Poul's permission.
No, I'd better cover both our asses. Not Poul's and mine - Jades' and mine. Though I confess I like her ass better uncovered....
And if Bones could see me grinning this way, he'd start humming the wedding march.
Origination: U.S.S. Enterprise
NCC 1701
Chemistry Department
Lt.Cmdr.D.E.Gollub-G3961171/SCI
Terminus: Starfleet Headquarters
Shipyards
Cmdr.R.MValley –V4723258/SPE
You gave an interview?!? You actually gave an interview to that bitch when you wouldn't save me from Pavel's mother?!?
And you were soooo cute. Here, look at it, just look at it!
“Anyway, I can assure your audience that such rumors are completely false. Jilla and Del have differing methodologies, as is only to be expected given their cultural differences, but they are in complete agreement about the end objectives and the ways to achieve them. Such differences are in details only.”“Ah, but it’s said the devils are in the details, is it not?” Kamens said.
“The only devil I know is standing next to me,” Ruth replied with wicked sincerity.
Spock raised a photogenic eyebrow. “Indeed?”
I hate you. I hate your husband. I hate Starfleet. Cajun and I should have joined the circus. Then I never would have met Pavel Andrevitch Chekov or his doting, over-protective, girl-friend-hating mother...
Daphne, my mother does not hate you. She was, in fact, quite pleased that you were Jewish.
This is a private message, schmuck.
Ouch. Yes. Forgive me. Hello, Ruth. Goodbye, Ruth.
Now where was I? Oh yeah, berating you for giving an interview to Rachel Kamens instead of saving me...
Was she really glad I'm Jewish?
Yes, pirozhne, she was.
Well, maybe in that case I'll forgive you.
Forgive me? What did I do?
I was talking to Valley, bubee. And I think I'm done now.
Oh, by the way, the odds are even about the Big Wedding.
Daf
Hi, Tara,
I'm so frustrated I could scream. The nests are almost finished and I can't find a single source for who the Brass is considering for Captains. In my opinion, they'd better give one to Spock. He took that 'temporary' promotion to captain for Fleet and the Federation and I think it's the demotion back that should be temporary. Working with Jim for the past year, I think he should get one too, but I'm too familiar with Fleet politics to take any bets on that. Any word on how Sulu is doing with the idea that Jilla will be assigned to one? Jeremy says she'll never go for being on a ship without Sulu but again... Fleet politics. I mean, realistically what can she do? If she resigns, she still won't be with Sulu. I'd just hate to be in their shoes.
Or in yours, poor thing. Unless either you or Jeremy want to take a demotion, you won't be serving together either.
Of course, I'll likely never be able to serve with Tomor - not that we've ever considered anything permanent. But then, neither have you and Jeremy... or have I missed something?
How does Fleet manage to be so anti-couple while promoting the idea of Nests as family ships?
Other than my frustration level, things here are good. Jim and Jade seem so happy - and a happy captain makes for a happy ship. But you wouldn't know anything about that (wink). I can't imagine Sulu is happy at all. Except, of course, that his nature is generally sunny. We all remember what it was like to have an unhappy captain whose nature was Vulcan.
Daffy and Pavel don't seem to break up with such regularity anymore. Maybe they're both growing up - and if you tell Daffy I said that, I'll deny it and erase all evidence of this communique.
Ramon and Monique seem to have settled down too. She hasn't cheated on him in a good four months.
M'ress and Mrraal are volunteering to be assigned to a Nest because they both want kittens. I'm not sure Scotty could take losing another of his engineers though. And I certainly would miss M'ress in Communications. I guess we'll just have to see.
That's all for now, Tara. Say hello to everyone for me.
Uhura
Captain's Personal Log:
I just received word that the Enterprise is being decommissioned. We're heading back to Terra for the launch of the Nests and our final debriefing. Scotty is moping around, trying to put a brave face on, but it's clear he's heartbroken. I can understand how he feels. He's served aboard her for his entire career. He's been talking with Bones about retiring. I hope he changes his mind when he sees the Nests.
I have to admit, I'm a little nervous. The admiralty has kept a very tight lid on who will be assigned the new ships. Without the Enterprise, I'm a little adrift. Will they give me another heavy cruiser? Assign me desk duty? Have I met the expectations of my superiors? Jade tells me I have nothing to worry about. Spock informs me that his reports as Executive Officer have been "more than adequate" (Vulcan-speak for I praised you to high heavens, Jim). I even asked Paget privately for his evaluation, and he gave me a redshirt "all is ship-shape, Captain" and a shrink "sound in mind and body, Jim." Bones tells me to quit worrying and marry Jade. But without a secure future, is that fair?
No, that's insecurity talking. No matter where I'm assigned, I want Jade with me. And I'm fairly certain that she wants to be with me.
Insecurity again. She loves me. I know she does, for a million reasons besides the fact that she's told me. And I am certain I love her. More than I've ever loved any other woman.
So that's it. It will be hard to say goodbye to this good and worthy crew and to the friends I've made over the years. I'm sure Fleet will want to give Spock his captaincy back, and god, will I miss him. But it's time we all moved on. This past year has been an important one for me, and I've proven myself, not only to Fleet and to my crew, but to myself. I'm not a young, brash captain anymore. I'll leave that to Sulu.
Now I think of my life as vintage wine
From fine old kegs
From the brim to the dregs
It poured sweet and clear
It was a very good year
It Was A Very Good Year by Frank Sinatra
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