“Live long and prosper, Jade.”

Jade Han turned from arranging her desk in Sickbay at Spock’s voice, a pleased smile lighting her features. “Peace and long life, Spock,” she replied, but held out her arms for an embrace. He sighed, but complied with the silent request, as she knew he would. It was a ritual that had its beginnings when she was an exuberant eleven-year old and he a reserved and awkward fourteen. It had been the last time they’d met as children. The first time was when a feisty pre-schooler had defended a shy boy from nasty cousins with snowballs. Jade chuckled at the memory. Spock had been as cold and as miserable as it was possible for a Vulcan to be, and her little girl’s heart had bled for him. Her family had lived in Minneapolis, next door to the Greysons, who just happened to be related to one Amanda Greyson Xtmprsqzntwlfd. She’d visited her brother’s family when Sarek’s ambassadorial work took him to Terra, bringing her son with her. Jade wasn’t friendly with the Greyson boys to begin with, so it was natural to ally herself with their victim. Her choice of profession took her, as an adult, to Vulcan, and so their acquaintanceship continued. She was very fond of him. Once she’d thought it was more than friendship, but quickly realized the overly emotional daydreams of adolescence for what they were. And her study of Vulcan psychology enabled her to know that he was also very fond of her. It was a mutually pleasant relationship.

She shook off recollection and hugged the lean frame hard, then stepped away. “It’s been a long time,” she said, then quoted, “five point two years” with him.

“You never change, Doctor,” he added.

“Nor do you, Commander,” she smiled. “How are you?

“Well. Yourself?”

“Quite well. I was more than pleased to pull this assignment.”

“Indeed?”

“The Enterprise is quite prestigious, and it has one of the most diverse crews in Fleet,” Jade explained. “And, of course, you’re here.” Spock nodded an acknowledgement. “And… well, leave that ‘and’ to me.”

One eyebrow rose but Spock didn’t question her. “I have news,” he said instead.

“Oh?”

“I am wed.”

Jade broke into a delighted smile. “Spock, that’s wonderful!”

“I agree. I would be honored if you would share dinner with us this evening.”

“Of course,” Jade began, then the ‘with us’ hit her. “Your wife is on the ship?” she asked.

“She is.”

“A member of the crew?”

“Yes.”

“I was wrong, You have changed.”

“Indeed. I am certain my wife would agree.” It was the Vulcan’s turn to be mysterious. “Nineteen hundred hours, Jade.”

He turned and left Sickbay, and Jade stared after him. Was that a smile playing across his lips? My, it is going to be an interesting evening.

“Have I mentioned Dr. Jade Han?” Spock asked.

Ruth, seated cross-legged on the deck – on the pon-san, Spock noted with a brief surge of sensual desire – glanced up from her guitar and her coffee, then frowned at Spock’s uniformed figure. “We’re on leave, Boss,” she informed him.

“I had something to attend to on board.”

“People do occasionally wear civies on the ship,” she returned. “I’ve seen ‘em.”

“Indeed. Have you ever seen me…”

“Okay, point taken,” Ruth agreed with a sudden smile. “Besides, I guess you had to put something on.” She leered at him and he found himself, yet again, flushing at the memory and desire she aimed at him.

And you said sex among Vulcans was infrequent.

Apparently that statement did not take an Antari wife into account.

Oh, so it’s all my fault?

I would not call it a fault, beloved.

The feel in Ruth’s mind was more than gratifying, the warm, liquid rush of pleasure and devotion she referred to as ‘toes melting.’

“Now what was that about the new shrink?” Ruth said.

Spock shook his head slightly at the semi-derogatory euphemism. “Dr. Han and I have known one another for many years.”

Ruth took a sip of her coffee before asking in a deceptively mild voice, “Oh? In a professional capacity?”

“There are times I find your sense of humor delightful,” Spock informed her. She started to smile and he added, “this is not one of them.”

“Womprat,” Ruth growled, but her eyes were still smiling.

“Jade and I have been friends since we were both children,” he went on. “Her family lived next door to the Greysons on Terra. I would like you to meet her.” He paused, then added, “Socially.”

“Womprat,” Ruth said again. “As if I needed a shrink.” She glanced down at her cup, silent for several seconds before murmuring uneasily. “You want me to like her, don’t you?”

Spock’s eyebrow rose. The disquiet in Ruth’s manner disturbed him. “I would find it pleasing to be able to share friends in common with you, yes. You would like me to enjoy Mr. Sulu’s company, would you not?”

“Well, yeah, but as he comes with Jilla, you’ve already got a friendship there.”

Spock waited, but Ruth said nothing more. He knelt on the floor in front of her, gently taking both the coffee cup and the guitar from her. “You have not met Dr. Han before, have you?” he asked softly.

“No…” Ruth replied, evading his gaze.

“Then I do not understand your apprehension.”

Ruth took a deep breath. “She’s a shrink.”

“A psychologist, yes.”

“I don’t get along with shrinks.” Spock frowned at her continued and obviously deliberate use of the slur. She glanced up at him, her eyes full of anxious discomfort. “At the Academy,” she began, then took another deep breath. The rest of her words came out in a rush. “I almost got kicked out because this shrink named Dr. Braily thought he could cure my fear of fire by burning things at me and it didn’t work and I had to cheat and make him believe that it wouldn’t affect my performance of my duties which it wouldn’t and it doesn’t Joan of Arc notwithstanding and I hate people who always try to solve other people’s problems as if they had a right to and I know that I do it so don’t tell me I don’t have to be logical.” She paused, peeking up at him. “Do I have to like her?”

Spock took her hands. “Are you going to be her patient?” he asked quietly.

“Hell no.”

“Then is there reason for you not to like her before getting to know her on a personal level?”

“Other than the fact she’s a…”

“Ruth…”

“Yeah, well…”

“She is an exceptional woman.”

“I bet.”

“She saved me from snowballs when she was but five years old.”

Ruth blinked. “She did?” she asked, her voice warming.

“My cousins thought my inability to tolerate the cold of a Minnesota winter most amusing. She came to my rescue, brought me into her home and gave me hot chocolate.” His expression softened. “That is when we became friends.” Ruth was smiling. He went on. “I thought, my wife, that the three of us could take our evening meal together.”

“Just the three of us?” Ruth said, her wariness returning.

“I want you to meet her,” Spock reiterated. She gave him a brave smile.

“Okay.”

Two hours after he’d left the ship for his quiet drink with Dave Calvin, Jim returned to the Enterprise. His dress uniform was wet, and in tatters. Scotty had asked with some concern what had happened, probably expecting at least a brawl with drunken and irate officers – or worse, cadets. When Jim had replied simply, “Commodore Calvin,” Scotty had nodded in sympathetic understanding.

To his further disgruntlement, Jim found himself sharing a turbolift car with Ruth Valley. She gazed up and down his disheveled body, then grinned. “I wasn’t even there, Bwana,” she said.

“Don’t remind me,” he grumbled. But it did remind him. Alpha Metaxa and log tapes and dear Dr. Han… He suddenly turned to the Antari. “Have you met Dr. Han yet?” he asked.

Ruth gave him an apprehensive sidelong glance. “No, not yet.”

He hoped the relief didn’t show on his face. “Oh. Well, I obviously don’t know her well, but…”

“Would you like to come to dinner with Spock and me?” Ruth interrupted suddenly.

Jim’s eyebrows rose. “On your honeymoon?” he asked.

“We’ve consummated enough for one day,” she replied airily and Jim suppressed a smile. “Say nineteen hundred? I won’t do the cooking.”

“I didn’t think Spock would let you poison him so soon,” Jim returned. Ruth scowled, but there was amusement in her eyes. “I’d love to,” he finished.

“Great! See you then.” The lift door opened and Ruth bounded out of it. It was only after he was in his cabin changing out of his wet clothing that he began to be a little suspicious.

Ruth was humming as she made her way to Jilla and Sulu’s cabin.

Not bad. A distraction for the doctor, company for me and a nice bit of matchmaking to boot. I wonder if dear childhood friend Jade will thank me for it?

She reached the door, hit the door signal, waited for the quiet, “come,” then stepped into her friend’s quarters.

“So, how’d it go?” she said without preliminary, dropping into a chair.

“As I expected,” Jilla replied, turning from the reader on the desk.

“That bad, huh?”

“No,” Jilla corrected, “I simply do not understand such emotions.”

“You mean that Cobra wants to jump Roy’s bones?” Ruth chuckled.

“Jump…” Jilla began.

“Never mind, you never do. It’s one of many Terran euphemisms for sex.”

As expected, Jilla flushed. “Yes,” she admitted, then turned curious eyes to Ruth. “Can you explain… the emotions are difficult enough but I… I cannot see how… Ruth, physically how such a thing…”

“Oy geveult,” Ruth sighed. “You and Spock, I swear…”

“Spock wishes to know…” Jilla began in shocked disbelief.

“No, no,” Ruth interrupted quickly. “I meant – well, you’re both so – innocent of what’s considered normal Terran variations….”

“Sulu has taught me much about normal Terran variations,” Jilla countered, a little defensively, Ruth thought.

I’m sure he has, she said to herself, and suppressed the chuckle. “Well, be that as it may, what happens physically between Terran males is a lot like a couple of normal Terran variations. You see, they can each – uh – mouth – um – “ As she continued, Ruth found herself getting increasingly embarrassed. “Well, you’ve… kissed and… and licked… um… haven’t you?” Unable to get the words out, Ruth sent a carefully tasteful image to Jilla’s mind, not at all the graphic depiction she’d given Spock. When Jilla went nova, she knew the Indiian had received it. “So, with two men, they just – uh – do each other,” she concluded.

“I am sorry I asked,” Jilla whispered.

“There’s more, if…” Ruth said.

“No, thank you, Ruth,” Jilla broke in hurriedly.

“Okay,” Ruth agreed, very relieved. There was an awkward pause, then Ruth said, “What did you think of Cobra?”

Jilla scowled at the nickname, but didn’t comment on it, and Ruth realized Sulu must have told her. Some Clavist! she tsked to herself, then recalled she’d mentioned racing to Spock. Married people’s prerogative, I guess.

“He seems a very gentle and patient man,” Jilla replied, her skin tone returning almost to normal.

“He and Roy have been friends for a long time.”

“Yes,” Jilla replied, clearly uncomfortable with the subject. Ruth took the hint.

“So, what do two old married ladies talk about?” she said brightly.

“Their husbands,” Jilla replied with a hint of a smile.

“That’s easy,” Ruth grinned, and spent a very pleasant half an hour rhapsodizing about her new relationship with Spock, and enjoying Jilla’s warm satisfaction.

The Hood had to leave Headquarters before the Enterprise. She had only stopped long enough to drop off those transferring and get the paperwork properly recorded. Sulu and Jeremy said fond goodbyes, promising as always to keep in touch. Sulu watched Jeremy walk away from the café, more than a little wistful. He missed the man, more than he had realized. He quelled the shiver of desire that ran through him and went to one of the jewelry shops he and Jeremy had passed while heading to the café. He’d seen a bracelet there that would look particularly good on Jilla’s slender wrist. Once back on board the Enterprise, he stopped in the rec room, hoping to find Ruth to show her the gift. He quickly scanned the area. Nothing too exciting was going on, a few card games, a few obviously private discussions. Most of the crew were still on leave.

And did you really expect Spike to be here? She’s on her honeymoon, after all.

He chuckled at his own illogic and headed back to the turbolift. Jilla would either be home or in engineering…

He rounded a curve in the corridor and nearly bumped into Ensign LiLing.

She was in civilian clothing, a beautiful sheath of multicolored silk. Her hair was loose and fell heavily to her waist. Incongruously, he noticed her fingernails. They were longer than usual for Starfleet officers and lacquered a deep Chinese red. He realized he was staring and tried to swallow. She smiled at him, a knowing, taunting smile.

“Lieutenant Commander Sulu,” she said. Her voice was soft and smooth, but hardly demure. He answered automatically, not thinking to question how she knew his name.

“Ensign LiLing.”

“You know who I am,” she purred. ‘How flattering.” She took a step closer. “Introductions are always so – tedious.”

“A mutual friend…” Sulu began.

“Jeremy Paget,” she nodded. “He speaks – “ She paused, her gaze sweeping deliberately over him, “ – quite highly of you.”

Sulu didn’t know how to respond to that, but he didn’t have to. LiLing’s sensual mouth pursed in a pout. “But he doesn’t really like me,” she said, “so I imagine he didn’t return the compliment.”

Sulu found himself trying to soften her distress. “Jer can be a little – cynical sometimes,” he said.

“So you don’t really take everything he says at face value?” she asked, her eyes gleaming with interest.

Again Sulu was at a loss for words. She’s so damned beautiful…

“You’re a man who likes to decide these things for himself,” she went on, and her confident tone bolstered his ego.

“I like to think so,” he replied.

Her dark eyes met his in bold yet deferential suggestion. “And would you have the time now to get to know me for yourself?” she murmured.

Sulu had to swallow the sudden rush of hunger that swept through his body. The desire was so strong that it momentarily eclipsed all else.

“Unless you’re needed elsewhere?” she added graciously. Sulu managed to nod, a part of his brain castigating him for his reaction, another part consumed by it.

“Perhaps later then,” she purred, and her hand came up, gently stroking his cheek. “And I will most certainly look forward to that ‘later.” She took a step back and bowed at precisely the correct level of respect for the differences in their ranks, their genders, and their stations – and Sulu didn’t wonder how she knew his family was samurai. “Arigato, Sulu-sama,” she said.

Then she was gone and he closed his eyes, trying to stop the fierce need that thundered within him. After a few moments he was sure that wasn’t going to happen, and he raced quickly to his quarters, praying Jilla was there and not in engineering.

In Jade’s experience, meeting old friends unexpectedly while stepping out of the shower was a rare occurrence. But much to Dr. Han’s surprise, she found Jilla Vtkrgdantm arranging her hair before the mirror as she opened the shower door to reach for a towel. Jade’s first reaction was to stare, to make certain this was Jilla. After all, she hadn’t seen Selar’s wife in at least four years, since before the Vulcan geneticist had died so suddenly. She had always meant to contact Jilla, to tell the young widow that she shared her grief, but hadn’t quite been able to make herself do it. Time passed quickly and she never made the visit she had planned. Finding the Indiian in her own bathroom on board a starship was more than a little surprising.

“Jilla?” she said, still not quite believing her eyes.

Grey eyes looked abruptly at her, widening with obvious shock. Jilla’s voice, when she spoke, was not quite serene. “Dr. Han?” Then she added, quickly recovering, “Alb p’salk sp’ra’l.”

“Majiir alb sp’ra’n,” Jade responded. “I’m – surprised – to find you here, Lady.” Did Jilla wince at the use of her deferential title?

“You have been assigned to the Enterprise?” Jilla asked, clearly distressed.

“Yes, I just signed aboard today,” Jade replied. Then she added, somewhat awkwardly, “I was told my cabin shared these rooms with that of Lieutenant Commander Sulu.”

“They do,” a male voice said from the doorway. Jade refused to blush and looked toward it. Lieutenant Commander Sulu, or so she assumed, was an intriguingly handsome young man. He wore civilian clothing and was smiling charmingly, though Jade could sense some urgency behind it. “You know this lovely lady, hon?” he asked Jilla.

Hon?!?

“Sulu, this is Dr. Jade Han, an acquaintance from – “ Jilla’s voice hesitated, “ – Vulcan. Jade, this is Sulu.”

Jade nodded, trying to hide her astonishment as Sulu said, warmly, “Pleased to meet you.”

“Yes,” Jade returned noncommittally. Despite the evidence, she was finding it difficult to believe the obvious conclusion. Jilla and Selar had been married in the strictest sense of that term known to the Federation. The fact that her husband was dead should have had no effect whatsoever on that marriage. She has no right to be living with another man!

Jade quickly realized her outrage and jealous indignation and did her best to calm it. After all, she had no business feeling it – and it was not something she ever wanted the Indiian to know about. She got her emotions under tight control and, wrapping the towel and her dignity more tightly around herself, stepped past the couple. At her door, she turned back to face them. “May I invite you over for tea?” she said to Jilla. “I am due to meet Commander Spock in an hour, but it would be lovely to take some time to talk.”

Sulu suddenly frowned. “Hon, I wanted some time alone with you,” he said. Jilla bent her head demurely.

“Another time, Jade?” she said.

“Of course,” Jade returned with a frown of her own, but she went through the door to her own cabin, closing and locking the door behind her.

Well, now, wasn’t that interesting, she thought as she carefully began drying her long black hair.

Interesting. Not exactly the appropriate descriptor, is it, doctor?

Very well, annoying, then.

She closed her eyes, letting the emotions wash over her now that she was safe from a sensitive’s extra faculty. Pain, loss, sorrow, anger – love. She’d never admitted it except in the privacy of her mind. Selar, I’m sorry. I told you she was a child. Too young to accept the vow she made you take. Damn it all to hell, she has no right! It doesn’t matter if you’re really in some Court, she believes you are! How can she hurt you like this? How can she betray your trust, your devotion, the love that took you from…

Jade Melissa Han, enough! She took nothing from you. You lost your chance years ago, stop thinking of the past. What’s done is done. Forget it and go on.

She went to her dresser and lit a small pipe of Rigellian; her favorite – and possibly only – vice. The smoke did its work and soon she was calm enough to begin combing her hair – and to be curious about Lady Jilla’s apparent infidelity. When did it start? Gods, how did it start? And shouldn’t she be dead by now?

That thought startled her.

She knew from Selar what the effects of his genetic manipulation of his wife would be. At some time in the last several years, Jilla should have been struck down by a bout of artificially induced pon farr. As far as Jade knew, Selar and Jilla had been bonded, and without her bondmate, Jilla should have died.

As far as I know, she complained to herself. Damn all Vulcans and their obsessive privacy. Not being able or willing to distinguish between biology and culture makes a xeno-psychologist’s job very difficult. So why is Jilla still alive?

It would seem, doctor, that a visit to Sickbay to check Lady Jilla’s medical records is in order.

Jade tamped out her pipe. She had more than enough time to indulge her personal and professional curiosity before meeting Spock for dinner.

At precisely nineteen hundred hours, Jade stood ready to signal First Officer’s quarters. She was more than anxious to meet Lady Xtmprosqzntwlfd. She had intended to ask Leonard who Spock’s wife was, but he’d gone planetside and couldn’t be reached. She supposed she could have simply looked it up, medical exams being necessary for anyone requesting a shipboard marriage – and that, of course, assumes the wedding actually took place on board the Enterprise – but somehow, that didn’t feel quite sporting. And as much as she hated to enter a new situation unprepared, she did have a sense of adventure.

She’d heard about the T’Pring fiasco of several years past. Not from Spock, of course; he had never mentioned his arranged marriage in any of his rare communications. Not that Jade had expected him to, Vulcans being how they were about anything regarding or referring to pon farr. No, Jade had received that information from other sources, most notably the Lady Amanda, who was quite happy to help Jade with her cross-cultural studies. She was well aware of how the admittedly beautiful but undeniably cold Vulcan woman who had been promised to Spock at age seven had decided not to go through with the marriage. So his ‘wife’ was obviously not T’Pring. Nor was it, as it should’ve been, according to ship’s medical records, Jilla Vtkrg – Majiir, unless their lifestyle was considerably more flexible than was usual for a Vulcan couple.

Jade took a moment from her train of thought to shake her head in disapproval of the name. Regardless of how difficult Vulcan surnames were to pronounce, didn’t the Indiian’s vows demand that she use it?

It’s a compromise, Jade. Don’t be harder on her than you have to be.

And really, is that possible?

Still, I doubt Spock’s views on monogamy have strayed much from Vulcan norms. Lady Xtmprosqzntwlfd is undoubtedly some nice, quiet Vulcan science ensign his father foisted off on him.

Not charitable, doctor. And would he be eager for you to meet her if she wasn’t his choice? He knows too well the lecture he’d get if she wasn’t.

Like the one you gave Selar some eight- point-two-six years ago?

Dangerous ground. Stop it.

Jade straightened her tailored dress and pressed the door chime.

Jim had worn a casual civilian shirt and slacks to Ruth and Spock’s first marital dinner party. He’d arrived a little early to see if there was anything he could do to help, but Ruth had handed him a brandy as he’d come in, pointed to a chair, and disappeared. Spock had joined him and they had been talking comfortably for about ten minutes when the door chime sounded. “You’re expecting someone else, Spock?” Jim asked.

“Yes.”

Jim waited for Spock to elaborate. When he didn’t, Jim asked, “Who?”

Spock’s voice seemed deliberately nonchalant. “Dr. Han.”

Jim sat bolt upright, nearly choking on his brandy.

“Did Ruth neglect to inform you?” Spock asked mildly.

“Don’t give me that innocent routine, mister…” Jim began.

Spock rose. “Excuse me, Captain, I must answer the door.”

For a moment, Jim seriously considered remembering that there was some pressing ship’s duty that he had been neglecting. His heart was thumping in his chest, his palms getting sweaty, and he could feel his face growing warm.

This is utterly ridiculous, he told himself sternly. You’ve faced Klingons, Romulans, Gorns, Organians, Havens, and Dave Calvin. If you can survive that, you can survive anything.

But Angel, I’m going to get you and the devil you married for this.

He stood as Jade came in. She was wearing a simple but elegant blue silk dress and looked magnificent. “So nice to see you, Doctor,” he said with his best winning smile.

“James, what a nice surprise,” she returned.

‘James,’ huh? Two can play at first names. “I wasn’t aware you’d be here either, Jade.”

She glanced at Spock, her eyebrow arching at his bland expression. “Well, I’m sure we can make the best of it.”

“Of course,” Jim returned and gestured gallantly toward a chair. “I’m sure our host can get you something to drink.”

“I don’t,” was her reply, “and my usual indulgence gives our host a headache.”

“Oh?”

“Rigellian.”

Jim noted Spock’s frown, and so said nothing.

“Is our hostess planning on making an appearance?” Jade continued to Spock.

“Certainly,” Spock replied. His voice rose fractionally. “My wife, our final guest has arrived.”

Jade sat forward expectantly. In that moment, Jim realized that Dr. Han had no idea who Spock’s wife was. He grinned broadly. Angel, I forgive you for everything.

When the Antari who Jade knew could only be Ruth ‘Angel’ Valley entered and it registered on Jade’s suddenly numb senses that this was Spock’s wife, she felt her jaw drop open. It had never, to her recollection, done that before and she didn’t like it. Spock’s wife an Antari? THAT Antari? How…? Why…? When…?

She swallowed several times, trying to get her voice to work, then swallowed again. Then, as if her total loss of composure wasn’t enough embarrassment, James began to laugh. ‘Angel’ joined him. It was all her shattered calm needed to force it to re-collect.

She turned to Spock. “I am going to get you for this if it is the last thing I ever do,” she vowed calmly.

Spock’s eyebrow rose. “Indeed. I had thought I was exacting revenge.”

“For what?” Jade asked indignantly.

“Where shall I begin?”

“I should’ve let your cousins bury you.”

Spock nodded and Jade couldn’t stop the smile. James, she noted with some satisfaction, looked completely baffled. Her composure restored, she turned to Ruth. “I’m Jade Han, Lady, and despite my original reaction, I am pleased to meet Spock’s wife.”

The Antari smiled back, but it was brittle. “Nice to meet you too, Doctor. Spock’s told me so little about you.”

“Has he?” Jade replied. “He’s told me nothing about you.”

The smile became dazzling. “Then we’re even. Captain, what do you know about Dr. Han?”

“Isn’t that a little heavy-handed, Ruth?” James asked.

Ruth shrugged. “I am.”

“I take it she invited you, James?” Jade put in.

“And Spock invited you,” he returned.

“I think we’ve both been set up.”

“Me, too.”

“Shall we have dinner now?” Ruth suggested. “I didn’t cook it, promise.”

Jade gave Spock a confused look. “A long story,” he replied, but didn’t explain any further. Instead, he showed her to a chair.

“I have a feeling there are a lot of then,” Jade murmured.

“You’d be amazed.” James agreed.

The music of the lyrette filled the cabin and lulled Sulu’s senses pleasantly. He needed this as much as he had needed the ferocity with which he’d made love to Jilla nearly an hour before. The soft, soothing sound was a sweet reminder of how happy he was with his life. He was relaxing on the bed, eyes closed, letting the faint scent of Jilla’s presence ease the nagging worry over his reactions to Jeremy – and LiLing.

And why’d you have to think of her?

Just a name. Nothing more.

He shifted, trying to disregard the sudden quickening of his pulse. Then he noticed that Jilla’s melody was becoming tense and anxious, no longer comfortable or comforting. He berated his emotions for spoiling the mood and sat up, ready to apologize. The music stopped as he did so. Jilla sat, head and eyes lowered, fingers tight on the frame of the Vulcan instrument.

“Jilla…” he began at almost the same time she said,

“Sulu…”

“What is it, what’s wrong?” Sulu continued.

Jilla set the lyrette on the desk beside her. “I – wish to explain, but…” She paused. “I do not know where to begin.”

He rose, coming to stand beside her. “Explain what, hon?”

“My – why I – Mr. Paget.” She shimmered faintly.

“Oh. I think I already understand.”

“No, you do not!” Her voice was suddenly strident and Sulu was taken aback. He took a steadying breath.

“Okay, I don’t. Tell me.”

She closed her eyes. It took a few seconds, but she finally started to speak. “When you – what you feel when…”

“Baby, I can’t help that,” Sulu interrupted. “It was a long time ago and I…”

“No!” Jilla broke in. “As I said, you do not understand!”

“All right, I’ll shut up,” he soothed. “Go on.”

“What you feel,” Jilla began again, “I do not, cannot comprehend. I accept that. That is not why I did not wish to meet him. I was aware of your emotions – and that he returns them – long ago. It is only that… Sulu…” Her voice became very quiet. “I am not yours, I cannot be …”

“What!?!” Sulu broke in, his tone close to panic, his hands abruptly clutching her shoulders.

“…as I wish,” she quickly amended. “There will always be my vows. There will always be Selar and the fate that awaits me. Yet I dare to – “ She swallowed, a shiver going through her. “…to be possessive of your feelings. I dare to feel jealousy and anger. I dare to bind you to me. I have no right to feel such things, no right to govern your affections…” Her voice broke. “I am ashamed, Sulu. And so afraid…”

Sulu swiftly pulled her up into a close, warm embrace. “I’m here, baby,” he murmured.

“Forgive me, I ruin your friendships…”

“No, no you don’t.”

“I love and I need – and ask so much…”

“You don’t, honey…”

“I am afraid!” A sob caught in her throat.

Sulu held her more tightly, stroking her hair. “I’m here,” he told her again. “I’ll always be, I swear it. Honey, don’t cry. I love you and I’m here.”

She clung to him and he carried her to the bed. He made love to her again, gentle this time, filling her with tender assurance and devotion. He held her close to him and she finally slept in his arms.

So fragile, he thought. Delicate crystal, so easily shattered. And I’m her only protection. How can I want Jeremy when she needs me so badly?

It doesn’t matter, he’s on the Hood. The desire will fade.

And what about LiLing?

I don’t really want her, she’s just so damned breathtakingly gorgeous…

Liar.

The pain of that truth seared into him, filling him with hateful castigation that was too familiar. He berated himself bitterly until Jilla began stirring under the strength of his internal self-loathing. Then he deliberately calmed himself, projecting warmth and protection until she again settled in his arms.

What are you that you could even think about someone else? his thoughts sent as a parting shot. Jilla needs you.

He pulled her closer, kissing her forehead with loving intensity. She murmured his name, a sigh of adoration. He drifted to sleep, his mind repeating she needs, she needs, and was only dimly aware of the answering dread rising from his being.

Jade was quite pleased when James offered to walk her back to her quarters. They both ignored the fact that she lived only a few doors down from the First Officer and turned in the direction that would take them the long way around the circular corridor.

After a minute or so of companionable silence, Jade said, “Amaze me.”

Jim started, coming to a stop. “What?”

“All the long stories. You said I would be amazed.” She smiled. “I can hardly wait.”

He chuckled. “That’s not really for me to tell you,” he said.

“I was afraid you’d say that.”

“I’m an honorable man.”

“That’s not what I hear.”

“Oh?” he replied mildly.

She turned to him. “James, you disappoint me. I expected some reaction to that statement.”

He grinned, a very appealing sight. “Which is why I didn’t give you one.”

“Playing head-games with me, James?”

“You started it, Jade.”

“So I did.” She took his arm and started walking again. “Now, about those log tapes…”

Jade was more than gratified when Jim groaned and blushed. “Uh, those were never intended to be sent, and…”

“Oh, I know that,” Jade interrupted. “Still, I found them – “ She paused, letting another smile play at her lips. “ – fascinating.”

He stopped walking again, staring at her. “Doctor, a man’s private thoughts aren’t really intended for psychiatric screening unless he’s under therapy and…

“…shouldn’t be committed to a tape addressed to a psychologist,” Jade finished, then added, “Jim, honey.” She saw Jim bite down on another blush and laughed. He scowled. She took a few steps forward. “Are you coming?”

“For an interview, Doctor?” he asked, his hazel eyes belligerent.

“No, for an escort.” She smiled to herself, but kept her expression cool. “Really, James, I do have some ethics.”

He shook his head. “That’s it? You’re not going to give me the third degree?”

She made her expression as innocent as possible. “No,” she replied simply.

“No lecture?”

“No lecture.”

“No more teasing?”

“That I can’t promise.”

“You’re an amazing woman, Dr. Han.”

“Yes, I am. Walk me home, James.”

He smiled, once again charming and at ease. “My pleasure.”

Jade didn’t stop smiling until long after she’d fallen asleep.

Leonard McCoy found, at the end of seven days, that the time had passed far too quickly to suit him. He had hardly missed the Enterprise. It was enough to make him hope that someday the comforting umbilical cord that held him on board Jim Kirk’s ship would snap. No, not snap, he corrected himself, just gradually fade away, the way it did this week. He paused in his thoughts. But not yet. He wasn’t ready for that.

Still, he had to admit that Natira was exactly the kind of woman who could bring about such an eventuality. He told her so as they walked one last time through an out-of-the-way garden they had found when he was first showing her around Headquarters.

She slipped her arm around his waist. “I love you, Leonard.”

“We’re going to have to do this again, real soon.” He paused and they exchanged sardonic looks. “Well, as soon as we both have the time. I want to show you Georgia.”

“I would like that.” She sighed. “I like this thing you call a vacation.”

“But now it’s time for both of us to get back to work”

“I am afraid so,” she agreed.

“I’ll write.”

“So will I.”

“I hate goodbyes.”

“As do I, Leonard.”

He took her in his arms and kissed her. It was warm and sweet and quickly grew into something more. McCoy smiled at his wife. “Let’s go back to the room,” he said. Her answering smile warmed him all the way to his toes.

Hours later, they didn’t say goodbye as McCoy beamed back to the Enterprise.

Commodore Calvin had volunteered to come on board with a recording crew to make a Public Relations tape of ‘the top ship in Fleet preparing to return to exploring the stars,’ but Jim had been able to save his crew from that indignity. Instead, he’d gathered up his new people, checked to make sure Bones hadn’t run off with his wife, and high-tailed it out of dock before Calvin could think of some other scheme for the good of Starfleet’s popularity.

Jim sighed and settled himself comfortably in his command chair. They’d been given a new assignment, to explore the galactic center and were on route to carry it out, and Jim had time to observe the activity on the Bridge.

McCoy was standing next to him, but judging by the look on his face, his thoughts were elsewhere – somewhere pleasant – and Jim didn’t want to disturb him by asking what it was. Mr. DelMonde was at the Engineering Station, Ruth Valley at Sciences, and for some reason, they were occasionally taking time out from their duties to glare at one another. Chekov was trying not to stare at Ensign LiLing who was going through a computer check with Spock at Life Sciences. Both Uhura and Walking Bear seemed absorbed in their work. In other words, things were as normal as they could be and Jim’s thoughts turned to trying not to be absorbed in Dr. Han. He was almost – not quite, but almost – disappointed to find that concentrating on his ship didn’t make that much easier.

Dear Doctor Han. Dear Jade. Jade, honey.

“Lieutenant Walking Bear,” he said with private delight, “warp factor three.”

The End