Return to Valjiir Stories
Ruth leaned against the door and looked uncertainly up then down the empty corridor. Vulcan bastard, she fumed, how could anyone expect me to share a room with that arrogant, supercilious – where the hell can I go? She shivered and tried to ignore the sudden rush of loneliness. She closed her eyes, recalling the layout of the Constellation. Down the corridor a door hissed. She turned her head and saw Sulu stalking angrily toward, then past her.
“Hey,” she called, and ran to catch up with him.
He stopped and glowered at her. “What do you want?” he demanded.
“Some company would be nice.”
“Some Rigellian would be nicer,” the young man scowled.
“Yes,” she agreed simply, and he sighed, then grinned weakly.
“My – wife,” he said, “is completely twitchy.”
“Maybe it’s catching,” Ruth replied, glancing back at her own door.
“Him too?”
“Uh huh. You know where we can get any?”
Sulu shook his head. “No. You?”
“Sorry.”
“Shit.”
“Maybe Jim would know?” Ruth suggested.
“Why? Because he’s the captain?”
She shrugged. “Could it hurt?”
“I suppose not,” Sulu conceded. “Now all we have to do is find him.”
“If the layout of all heavy cruisers is the same…” Ruth began.
“It is,” Sulu assured her.
She slowly turned around. “Then…”
Sulu turned his head as footsteps were heard approaching down the corridor. A man who looked to be in his fifties was coming toward them. Ruth smiled. “Hey, mister…” she began.
“Not ‘mister’, Lieutenant Commander,” Sulu corrected her.
“What?” she asked, then added, “how can you tell?”
“The sleeves, the stripes,” he replied, and held out his arm. “See, like this. If you still had your uniform on you’d only have the one because you’re only a lieutenant – “ He stopped as Ruth deliberately yawned. “The information might come in handy, you know,” he grumbled.
“I doubt it,” Ruth replied. The man she had spoken to put a friendly hand on Sulu’s arm and smiled at her.
“What can I do for you, lass?” he said.
Ruth turned her most charming smile on him. “We were wondering if you could tell us where we could find Jim.”
The man seemed a bit puzzled, but he smiled back. “That depends on which ‘Jim’ you’re lookin’ for, lass.”
Ruth faced Sulu. “What’d you say his last name was?”
Sulu sighed. “James T. Kirk,” he enunciated distinctly, “Captain James T. Kirk,” then growled to himself, “it is catching.”
The lieutenant commander chuckled. “Oh, that Jim.” He pointed. “Next door down, on your left.”
“Thank you, sir,” Sulu said, and grabbed Ruth’s arm. “Come on.” Ruth pulled away, but followed.
Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott grinned and shook his head, and continued down to his own quarters.
Jade took a deep hit from her pipe, reminding herself that it wouldn’t be at all proper or professional for her to pay a second late-night visit to the Captain’s cabin. Even if he isn’t currently hung up on captain’s ethics, she told herself decisively, how would you explain such a thing when he gets his memory back? And what about your ethics? He is a patient.
The door signal sounded and she sighed and got up from her desk, trailing aromatic smoke behind her. “Come,” she called.
When the door opened, Spock frowned at the pipe, then said, “Doctor, I fear I have made a rather serious mistake.”
“You killed her,” Jade concluded dryly.
Spock’s frown deepened. “I am serious, Jade.”
She sighed again. “Of course you are, forgive me.” She stood aside, allowing him to step into the cabin. “What is it?”
“Will you extinguish that, please?”
A third sigh and Jade gently tamped out the smoldering herb. Rigellian gave Vulcans headaches. Spock nodded his thanks.
“Ruth had a temper tantrum,” he said. “I should have simply waited it out, but I reacted to the child’s anger, not the woman’s need. I stopped her, physically, which frightened and angered her…”
He was interrupted by an almost-weeping voice that sobbed hesitantly, “Doctor Han?” Jade’s eyes closed as she turned to the door that led to Sulu and Jilla’s quarters.
“Yes, Jilla?” she asked calmly.
The Indiian stepped tentatively into Jade’s cabin. “I tried to… to do what I felt…” she began, “…but he… he was so confusing… and I tried to explain… he is so… and I just… even if I was not… but he didn’t – even – care!” Jilla burst into tears of abject misery and Jade crossed to her, guiding her to sit down on the bed.
“He left?” she asked. Jilla sobbed and nodded. Jade glanced up at Spock. The Vulcan also nodded. Jade brought her fingers to the back of her neck, massaging wearily.
“They’re loose,” she groaned.
Jim hadn’t had anything smokable, but he did find a bottle of what he said was something called Saurian brandy, which seemed to impress Sulu so Ruth acted agreeable and took a glass. Not that it would have the effect she wanted; and Jim had also found something else, a stupid military award. Sulu had spent the past half hour in a glorious retelling of glorious Jim Kirk on the glorious USS Hannibal and how the glorious officer, badly wounded, on a Bridge of mostly dead and dying other glorious officers had gloriously steered the nearly crippled destroyer to a glorious Starbase with no thought of his own life or safety and thereby won something gloriously called the Award of Valor.
“Glorious,” she muttered, and swallowed the entire contents of her glass.
Jim looked up as if just realizing there was someone other than Sulu and him in the room. “Did you say something Ruth?” he asked curiously.
Ruth refilled her glass. “I said, can’t you two think of something less glorious and a little more important to talk about?”
Jim shrugged sheepishly. “It’s important to me,” he murmured.
“Besides, it is glorious,” Sulu snapped. “And I bet a lot better than anything you've ever done.”
“Or you!” Ruth returned sharply. Sulu suddenly grinned.
“How’d you like to find out?” he volunteered.
Ruth began a sarcastic retort, then stopped at the devilish gleam in the dark eyes. You think you can beat me at anything? she thought, and smiled sweetly. “Try me,” she offered.
“Just what are you good at, besides the obvious?” Sulu taunted.
“Anything you have in mind,” she promised.
“Too bad they don’t have needles on board starships,” he snorted.
“Needles?” Ruth rejoined, delighted.
“You ever hear of Kamikaze?”
The Antari’s wide eyes went wider. “Really?” she said. “No shit?”
“In the flesh,” Sulu confessed smugly.
“Hot damn!” Ruth breathed. “I am so pleased to meet you, Your Majesty!” And she leaned forward, taking his hand. She kissed, then lasciviously bit his fingers, never taking her eyes off of his.
Sulu’s eyes gleamed. “Rise, racer,” he said, the proper response to a Clavist royal greeting. Ruth giggled.
“Uh, you two are supposed to be married,” Jim reminded uneasily. Sulu and Ruth both stared blankly at him, then at each other. Ruth started laughing first, and Sulu quickly joined her. Soon they fell against each other, gasping in hilarity. Jim flushed. “You mean you aren’t talking about…”
“Needle racing, Jim,” Ruth managed.
Jim made a face. “Well, what else was I supposed to think?” he insisted. “After all you did decide to forget about Stephanie.”
Sulu pulled slightly away from Ruth. “We did, didn’t we?” he murmured. Ruth smiled slowly, nodding.
“Didn’t I just say…” Jim began.
“Having a nice party, children?” Jade Han’s voice asked sardonically.
“Damn!” Ruth snarled.
“Shit,” Sulu agreed.
Jade ignored both statements as she stepped into the captain’s quarters.. “Forgive me for not knocking, James,” she said, “but you two – “ she glared at Ruth and Sulu, ”are supposed to be home, where you belong.”
“If I could go home, Doctor…” Ruth muttered acidly.
“You don’t live in Haifa anymore,” Jade retorted sternly. “You haven’t for years. And your husband’s waiting for you.”
“Let him wait,” Ruth snapped.
“GO,” Jade ordered. “NOW.”
Ruth gulped and got up. “Yes’m,” she pouted and slunk past Jade and out the door.
“How do you do that?” Sulu asked, awed.
“You, too,” Jade returned sharply. “Go.”
Sulu scowled, then sighed. “Doctor,” he said earnestly, “she’s crazy!”
“She is not. Go.”
“Do I have to…”
“GO!”
Sulu jumped to his feet. “You’re as bad as my grandmother,” he muttered.
Jade’s foot suddenly lashed out, kicking the helmsman’s shin with determined anger.
“Ouch!” he cried. “I’m going, I’m going!” He hobbled out the door and Jade followed him. When he reached his own cabin, she kicked him again.
“Get in there!” she snapped.
“Ouch, damn it!” The door hissed open.
“And stay there!”
“She’s as bad as the Zehara,” Ruth complained as the door to Spock’s quarters slid shut behind her. She furtively glanced around and found the Vulcan sitting behind one of the two desks in the room. The chess set was on it.
“I’m back,” she told him with no conviction whatsoever.
He rose from his chair and approached her. “I trust you are calmer now?”
“You gonna hit me?” she asked suspiciously.
He raised an eyebrow. “Surely not, my wife.”
She sighed. “I really wish you wouldn’t call me that.” For a moment, she could’ve sworn he looked crestfallen, wounded even. “And you did grab me.”
“Forgive me – “ There was a slight hesitation. “Ruth. It was not my intent to harm or frighten you.”
“Yeah, well…” Her voice trailed off. She glanced up at him, her gaze still wary and mistrustful. “What are you gonna do?”
“I thought perhaps you might enjoy a game of chess,” he suggested.
She pursed her lips, eyeing first the chessboard, then him. “Oh.” She paused, then brightened. “Okay.”
Sulu bent, rubbing his calf, and limped into the quiet cabin. Then he realized it was quiet. He’d been expecting tears or more hysteria or hesitant, confusing, manipulative seduction. The silence was unnerving, and for reasons surpassing his understanding, he started to worry about his ‘wife.’
“Jilla?” he called softly.
There was no answer and he gingerly stepped through the room to the sleeping area.
The Indiian was laying on the bed, still in her uniform except for the boots which were placed carefully in front of the wardrobe. She was on her side in a half-curled position, her eyes closed, her skin faintly shimmering. She must be sedated, he thought to himself. She spends so much time hysterical she couldn’t possibly have fallen asleep.
He rubbed his forehead. The brandy had made him tired and his leg hurt and she’ll probably sleep all night. And we are married or so they keep telling me. And she’s awfully pretty just lying there.
He took a deep breath, pulled off his own boots and tunic and slipped into the bed beside her.
Jim stared glumly into his brandy glass. He’d been having a good time, and he wished Dr. Han hadn’t chased away the only other people he could relate to. Now all he had was the silence of all these things he couldn’t remember.
He filled his glass again and was draining it when he heard a soft “Ahem.” He looked up to see Dr, Han frowning disapprovingly over the rim of the glass. He swallowed self-consciously, only choking a little. She crossed the room, lifting the nearly empty bottle, inspecting it. Then she shook her head.
“I’ll take care of your hangover in the morning, James,” she said. “You really should smoke. Good Rigellian won’t affect you the next day.”
“We wanted to,” he replied sullenly. “We didn’t have any.”
Jade smiled and Jim found himself blushing again. “Next time, call me,” she murmured conspiratorially. “I’m never without it. Good night, James.”
“Checkmate.”
“Not again!” Ruth cried. She slumped in her chair and glared antagonistically across the desk at Spock. “One more!”
“I think not,” Spock answered.
“Why not? Listen, I deserve a chance to beat you at least once.”
Spock gazed speculatively at her. “Why?”
Ruth ignored the question and leaned forward to rearrange the chess pieces. “Just one more game,” she insisted.
“That is no answer, Ruth, and your suggestion is untenable at the moment. I have duty in less than an hour.”
“So we’ll make it a quick one.”
“I think not,” Spock repeated.
“You afraid I’ve figured you out?”
“Ruth,” the Vulcan said, and waited for her to look at him. “No.” She pouted at him as he rose from the desk and started toward the bathroom. “Will you want your usual cold shower?” he asked.
She went back to staring accusingly at the chess board. “Why?” she asked, her tone almost as accusing as her glare.
“If not, it will save time,” he replied.
“Oh.” She grinned. “No, I don’t think so.”
“Very well,” Spock said, and held out two fingers. “Come, then.”
The Antari’s head jerked up. “What?”
“You will shower with me.”
Ruth stared as her mouth dropped open. Shower with… Now wait just a… you conned me?
He conned me! I’ve been had and I will not put up with it! He’s so superior… Used to getting everything your way, are you, Mr. Super-Vulcan? You don’t know who you’re …
Wait. He’s my husband, right? That means we must… and this is one area where I know I‘ve got you beat before we get started. Sucker!
She smiled slowly, and rose gracefully from her chair. “All right,” she said.
Spock calculated swiftly. This is a game she intends to win, he realized. I should not indulge her childish whims. Yet… to allow her to succeed will give me the opportunity to be close to her, and these teasing seductions are not foreign to us. Her memory must be given every chance to right itself for more than her sake or mine; there is the inspection to consider. Perhaps, if I let her win, yet also let her know that it was never a contest, that this is freely given to her… Yes. And I will be as Human as possible; I do not wish her telekinetic abilities to destroy anything of value in our quarters.
Jilla sighed and turned over. She was too warm, and she sat up irritably, pulling her uniform and tights off. She was about to settle back down when she realized there was someone else in the bed. Still half asleep, she was flooded with a feeling of safety and she moved close to the sleeping figure. Beautiful, strong features, skin the color of faded bronze, black silky hair – so handsome, so inviting…
She reached out, touching the smooth flesh and the eyes snapped open. They stared at her, ebony velvet, and she shivered, her tia much too absorbed with her first real sexual desire to think about all that had happened the day before. She smiled tentatively, glowing faintly, and the black eyes smiled back at her. She remembered his name and whispered it. Arms came suddenly around her and she returned the kiss he gave her with an ardor that surprised her, yet seemed completely natural. She touched him now without any hesitancy, eager and willing to explore the sensations she’d been waiting nearly a year to feel.
Jade thought she heard a faint scratching at the door that led from her living area to the captain’s office. Poor boy – man, she thought, after all that brandy he must wish he were dead. “Coming, James,” she called as she pulled on a robe. It occurred to her to leave it open, and she shook her head ruefully and belted it tightly. She crossed both rooms and opened the door.
Jim stood there in a badly rumpled uniform, his hair disheveled, his hazel eyes bloodshot and weary – and very chagrinned. He attempted a weak smile.
“Uh, Doctor, you said…” he began, then winced at the sound of his own voice.
“Yes, James, come in,” she said as softly as she could. She walked back to her bedroom, motioning Jim to sit as she prepared the hypo she’d retrieved from the Sickbay the night before. Jim groaned to himself and Jade disguised her unsympathetic chuckle as a cough. She was tempted to give him a lecture on the ill-advisement of self-inflicted poisoning, but decided against it. Doctors were, after all, supposed to be dispensers of mercy. She turned to say something comforting instead, and nearly jumped out of her skin at the blood-curdling shriek that came from Sulu and Jilla’s quarters, quickly followed by fists pounding on the door and Sulu’s panic-stricken voice shouting urgently, “Doctor Han!!”
Jim moaned desperately, falling off the bed to the floor, clutching his head. Jade took a deep breath and went to the door.
As soon as it was open, Sulu rushed past her, stark naked, shrieking “I told you she was crazy!”
Jade stood, eyes closed, Sulu cowering behind her, Jim on the deck groaning pitifully, hysterics coming from Sulu’s cabin, and told herself, quite calmly, that it was going to be a long day.
“Give me some coffee, Leonard, and I’ll tell you all about it.”
McCoy chuckled, received a withering look from Jade, and obediently filled her cup.
“I woke to Jim’s pleading for a hangover cure,” she said matter-of-factly. “Which was alright. I expected that. What I didn’t expect was a naked bronze god to come pounding at my door, terrified and screaming, ‘I told you she was crazy.’”
McCoy laughed into his coffee cup and Jade glared at him.
“You weren’t there, Leonard,” she chided. “You didn’t have to deal with him, or Jilla or Jim. All that noise didn’t do him any good.”
“I’ll bet not, after all that brandy,” McCoy snorted. “A whole bottle, you say?”
“Leonard!”
“And what could little Jilla possibly do that could scare Sulu out of his clothes, much less his skin?”
“I love you too, McCoy,” Jade snarled.
McCoy straightened up. “Sorry Jade. Go on.”
Jade took a long swallow of her coffee, sighing deeply. “Apparently, piecing together his hysteria and hers, she woke up, sixteen and unmarried, of course, and saw this vision sleeping next to her. Indiian nature being what it is, she started seducing him. He woke up, all for this new turn of events…”
“Still missing Stephanie,” McCoy chuckled, then shrugged at Jade’s scowl.
“Anyway, half way through – the act, not the seduction, mind you – Jilla remembered what we’d told her. It was something Sulu said, though she won’t say what it was and he doesn’t remember.”
“Bedroom talk,” McCoy nodded.
“Vulgar bedroom talk, knowing Sulu,” Jade agreed. “But Jilla suddenly had to stop him and when she realized that she didn’t want to…” Jade shook her head wearily. “She let out a panic-stricken string of emotionally-laden Indiian, Sulu hit the ceiling and was racing to my door before he landed, with Jilla crying in utter despair.”
McCoy was silent for a moment, then burst out laughing. Jade waited patiently, then asked, “By the way, speaking of panic, where’s Valley? She’s got to be in trouble by now.”
“I’m going to get dizzy if this keeps up much longer,” Daffy Gollub complained to Ramon Ordona.
“I know. Can you believe it?” the botanist whispered back, then returned to watching Ruth.
Ruth Valley, efficient science officer, assistant to the Chief, author of dozens of technical essays, computers expert, renowned keheil, and half of the much-lauded design team known as Valjiir, was following Commander Spock around the Sciences Lab, her huge violet eyes gazing worshipfully at him, asking him a thousand questions a minute.
”That's what I joined Starfleet to get away from,” Daffy confided, then shook her head, frowning. “Oy, you think maybe I could get a quick transfer?”
“Was she this bad at school?” Ramon asked.
“School? School?” Daffy repeated with frank incredulity “I went to school. She was the terror of Alterra.”
Ruth ignored the two other officers in the lab. She didn’t know the handsome young man, and Daffy she always ignored. Of course, it helped that she was ignoring everything and anything but Spock. Wonderful, handsome, intelligent, sensitive, patient Spock. She sighed and caught the Vulcan’s long-suffering glance. She shrugged an apology at him and asked him about the chemical analysis he was inspecting, not listening to the answer except for the low, mellifluous sound of his voice. She knew she was making him a little twitchy, but what did he expect? She’d been furious with him when they’d gotten into the shower and he simply encouraged her irresistibility. How could she win when he gave in so easily, so willingly? And then, when he wouldn’t let her stop what she’d started… You are my wife, Ruth. I love you, I desire you. You must allow this. And when that ‘must’ was accompanied by such fervent need… She had, knowing she could have stopped him without much effort, knowing she could win if she’d wanted… But who could want to with the way he looked at me, when his touch was so gentle, so assured, with no awe or blind hunger or avid greed. Just knowing and caring and accepting…
She sighed again and Spock’s voice said, “You have not heard one word I’ve said, Ruth.”
“What?” She gazed up at him, knowing her eyes were shining, and not caring. “I’m sorry, Spock. Tell me again.”
“Will you listen this time?”
Probably not. “I’ll try.”
He tilted his head to one side, obviously considering whether or not to take her at her word. She found it charming and smiled with sheer delight. ‘It’s just that your explanations are so – thorough – I sometimes have trouble following you,” she added breathlessly.
“Could’ve fooled me,” Daffy muttered.
Scotty smiled as Jilla looked up from the circuitry, her grey eyes sparkling at him.
“See, I do know what I’m doing?” she asserted proudly.
“Aye, lass, I never said ye didn’t,” the Chief Engineer assured. “I just had to make certain on something that wasn’t crucial, ye ken.”
The Indiian tilted her head. “Ken?” she asked. “What is ‘ken’?”
“It’s Scottish, it means understand, comprehend,” Scott explained.
Jilla repeated the word to herself, clearly adding it to some internal memory file. “Yes,” she said at last. “I ken.” Then she smiled up at him. “May I go down the engines now?” There was hope and breathless devotion in the question and Scotty sighed.
“Why don’t we get a wee bit of rest, have some coffee…”
“Coffee? What is ‘coffee’?”
The engineer started, then shook his head with a tolerant chuckle. “Ah, that’s right. Some nice soup, then, lass, or a sandwich, or…” His voice trailed off at her curious stare.
“I’m not hungry, Mr. Scotty, nor tired.”
He had to chuckle again at the ‘Mr. Scotty.” McCoy had brought her to Engineering and had ‘introduced’ them by saying, “Here you are, Scotty. Take care of her.” So, naturally, Jilla had assumed that was his name, since Indiians hadn’t developed the concept of nicknames. “Can we go to the engines now?” Jilla asked again.
The Human closed tired eyes. He never realized how exhausting keeping up with an Indiian would be, or how drastically his favorite engineer had been changed. Calm, placid, unruffled, quiet Mrs. Majiir, wasn’t. At all. And she was considered unemotional on Indi? he marveled. She’d been going like mad all morning and showed no signs of letting up. He’d tried to keep her busy and challenged, but she was almost as good at engineering as she claimed she was, and it was nearly impossible to keep her out of everything. The only real complaint he’d gotten was from DelMonde, which was understandable as she tended to stare longingly at him, then blind him, then start sniffling. Dr. McCoy had said the Indiian was over her hysteria, but Scott had seen her get upset at something Mrraal had said, and if that wasn’t hysterics, he’d never seen them. McCoy said he’d never seen them.
He was shaking his head when Jilla’s voice said, impatiently, “Well?!”
“Well what, lass?” he asked wearily.
“I asked if we could see the engines!” she shouted furiously. “I’ve asked twice!”
“Alright, lass, if it’ll calm you down…” Scott began.
“I AM CALM!” Jilla shrieked.
“Aye, lassie, if you say so,” he murmured, and she nearly squealed with delight as he added, “Let’s go.”
“Remember anything?” McCoy asked hopefully.
Jim consciously forced himself not to gape as he sat uneasily in the command chair and looked around the Bridge. His Bridge. He was a Starfleet captain. It was the most wonderful thing that could happen to a man, it had happened to him, and he remembered none of it. Well, that doesn’t make it invalid, he told himself. You did earn it. He shrugged at the doctor. “No,” was the simple reply. “Sorry.”
“That’s alright, you will,” McCoy assured him. “And by the way, you usually call me ‘Bones.’”
Jim looked curiously at the older man. “Do I? Why?”
McCoy smiled. “That’s what I used to ask you. It has something to do with ancient doctors being called sawbones.”
“Oh,” Jim said brightly. “That’s used in C.S. Forester’s novels about the Napoleonic British Navy.”
“Is it?” McCoy beamed. “I’ll bet that’s where you got it then.”
Jim flushed. “It’s – well, it’s not very complimentary,” he went on. “I mean it’s because… well, it’s kind of barbaric.”
“You do not recall having watched the doctor perform surgery,” Spock said dryly as he came up behind them, with Ruth right behind him.
“And I’ll bet he doesn’t remember watchin’ you hack away at him with some huge, unwieldy ax…” McCoy returned gruffly, turning to the Vulcan.
“Hi, Ruth.”
“Hi, Jim.”
“Good morning, Captain,” Spock said.
Jim felt himself redden at both the respectful attitude of the Vulcan commander, and the jibes Spock and McCoy had exchanged. Still, they don’t seem to be offended… He began to answer Spock’s greeting when his attention was caught by a pretty, bright-eyed young woman with elaborately arranged blonde hair. She carried a statboard and looked uncertainly between him and Spock. “Captain? Commander?”
“What is it, Yeoman Rand?” Spock asked.
“Why is she wearing a basket on her head?” Ruth whispered, loud enough for everyone else on the Bridge to hear.
Instead of being annoyed, Rand smiled indulgently at the Antari, then divided her attention once again between Jim and Spock. “Sir, sirs, I need someone’s signature on these reports, but… sir, sirs?”
“The captain is not on duty, Yeoman,” Spock answered her. “I am in command.”
“Yes, but… Captain Kirk is in the con, and…”
Jim nervously jumped up from the seat, apologizing. Spock simply took it, ignoring McCoy’s scowl.
“It’s alright, Jim,” McCoy said, patting Jim on the arm.
Spock took the statboard as Rand turned to Ruth. “Because I like wearing a basket on my head,” she said. “Why do you usually wear yours in a pony tail, or a bun?”
“Do I?” the Antari asked, as she ran a hand self-consciously through her long, loose hair.
Rand grinned. “Uh huh.”
“Oh.” The purple eyes narrowed. “Somebody didn’t tell me,” she muttered with the beginnings of a glare at Spock.
Jim stared at the deck apprehensively. McCoy clapped a friendly hand to his shoulder. “Don’t let that pointy-eared computer upset you, Jim. He just likes playin’ captain.”
“But he’s right,” Jim said. “I shouldn’t have… it’s the First Officer’s job to…”
McCoy interrupted with a sharp glance at the Vulcan. “Don’t worry about it. Janice knows what she’s doin’.”
Spock raised an eyebrow but otherwise ignored the statement. Jim glanced over at Rand, who smiled at him. He smiled back, his gaze unconsciously lowering, then rising again. Ruth giggled and the yeoman’s smile widened. Jim took a step closer to her.
“Janice, is it?” he asked.
“Yes, sir, Yeoman Janice Rand.”
“I like just Janice better.”
“As you wish, sir.”
“Could you call me Jim?”
“I… don’t know. I guess, if…”
“Yeoman, you have duty, do you not?” Spock interrupted pointedly.
“You’re no fun,” Ruth told him as Rand reddened, said, “yes, sir,” and left the Bridge.
“Sorry, Mr. Spock,” Jim said sheepishly.
Someone named Ramon who said he was a botanist and a friend had invited him down to the gym after making a cryptic remark about “If I’d stayed in there much longer I would have had to kill her.” Sulu didn’t know where ‘there’ was, or who Ramon would’ve had to kill, or why, but the gym sounded like an interesting change. He had some extra energy it wouldn’t hurt to work off.
The gym both was and wasn’t what he was expecting It had all the proper equipment and there were people working out, but he’d really been hoping to get away from all the more than alluring people who kept reminding him he was married. He was being as charming as he knew how to be, but after an initial smile and a promising glance, every one of them said, “Sulu, you’re married now.” That “now” implied things just tantalizing enough to drive him crazy. He’d had all these gorgeous, exotic, so-damned-exciting men and women and couldn’t remember it?
“Shit,” he said out loud, and Ramon turned to him.
“Something wrong, Sulu?”
“Horny as all…”
“Don’t look at me.”
“Why not?”
The Spaniard grinned. “One, I’m not bi. Two, I’m spoken for. Three, so are you.”
Sulu frowned. “That – woman – is totally out of her mind and she’s out to get me. I never did anything to her,” he added in a grumble.
“LiLing was nothing?” Ramon was suddenly straightening accusingly.
Sulu stared at him blankly. “Huh? Who’s LiLing?”
The young man blinked, then visibly calmed himself. “Oh, right, of course,” he mumbled to himself, then smiled again. “Never mind. Come on. You can beat the Armada again.”
“Huh?” Sulu repeated.
Ramon sighed. “Never mind.”
Maybe they’re all nuts, Sulu thought as he followed Ramon through the gym. The Spaniard stopped in front of a case of fencing equipment and Sulu grinned. “I’ve been meaning to…” he began. He was unprepared for the foil that came flying at him, but he managed to catch it without slicing his fingers off.
“What did you say?” Ramon asked, turning from the case with his own weapon.
“I said I’ve never done this, but I’ve wanted to learn,” Sulu replied. He watched as the brown eyes lit up in incredulous, ominous delight.
“Really?” he said, then recovered from whatever insanity had possessed him. “I’ve been trying to teach you, but you’re not very good.”
Sulu shrugged deprecatingly. “You can’t be good at everything,” he returned, without mentioning the things he was good at.
Ramon chuckled. “I guess not. I’ll go over the basics slowly so you can…”
“Ramon!” a pleasantly strident female voice called disapprovingly. Sulu turned to see a slender, very pretty woman with huge blue eyes and short brown hair, her hands on very adequate hips that were swaying with perfect invitation as she moved toward them. “You’re supposed to be telling him the truth, mon cher.”
Sulu smiled at her as Ramon replied, “Have a heart, mi amor, it’s the only chance I’ll ever get to beat him.”
“Hi. My name is Sulu,” the helmsman said.
“He won’t remember how even if you tell him he’s a master swordsman,” the woman insisted.
“Monique…” Ramon complained, then sighed at her unrelenting gaze. “Ah, all right.” He turned again to Sulu. “Sulu, you’re the best on the ship,” he admitted glumly.
Sulu ignored him completely. “Monique. That’s French, isn’t it?”
Monique gave him a sultry smile. “Oui,” she said. “Monique DuBois. I’m a navigator.”
He stepped closer to her, his smile radiating delight and sensual charm. “They tell me I’m a helmsman. That means I work next to you.”
“Oui,” she said again, returning his interested gaze. “Frequently.”
“I wonder, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, if you could help – refresh my memory – about how the helm partnership works…”
“I couldn’t now, Sulu,” she returned with just the hint of a pout. “I have a prior engagement.” She turned to Ramon. “With Del, Ramon,” she added.
“Nothing you could get out of?” Sulu asked, his most inviting.
“I wouldn’t want to,” Monique replied in a purr. He must’ve looked crestfallen because she gave him a look full of meaning and regret and added, “You are married now, cher.”
“Yeah,” Sulu mumbled, “Shit.”
“Bitch,” Ramon hissed.
“We’re not married, Ramon,” Monique pointed out, then smiled toothily.
“Uh, have you two got something…” Sulu began.
“No,” Monique said sweetly as Ramon answered sternly,
“Yes.”
Twitchy. All of them.
“Doctors,” Spock reminded Han and McCoy pointedly, “We have less than thirty-five hours.”
Jade stopped pacing long enough to favor Spock with a withering look. “Yes, I know.”
“What do you suggest we do,” McCoy muttered, “Stop time?”
“You are the medical professionals,” Spock reminded unnecessarily. “I came to ask for your recommendations.”
“He means to gloat because my idea isn’t working,” Jade commented sourly.
“Dr. Han, I do not gloat.”
“Tell that to your cousins.”
“Calm down, Jade,” McCoy said. “Not that I want to side with him,” he jerked his thumb at Spock, “but we’ve got to try something else before those two get into real trouble.”
“Two?” Spock questioned.
“Your wife and Mr. DelMonde,” McCoy answered. “He says she won’t leave him alone.”
Spock frowned.
“Isn’t that funny,” Jade put in. “Half the ship says the same thing about Sulu.”
The frown deepened. “While I concede that such behavior should not have been unexpected,” Spock said, “we must find a way to stop it.”
“And Jilla’s Indiianness,” McCoy added. Spock raised an eyebrow.
“Indeed, Doctor? You once called such tendencies healthy.”
“Not to extremes,” McCoy retorted. “Like insanity.”
“Gentlemen, I really don’t need any more children,” Jade remarked. “James is terribly despondent, and that, too, is not normal behavior.”
“Neither is the way he looks at you, but you’re not too interested in stoppin’ that, are you?” McCoy teased, his blue eyes twinkling. Jade scowled at him and Spock pretended not to notice.
“What other treatment can be attempted?” the First Officer asked.
There was silence for a long moment.
“Make them grow up,” Jade said suddenly. “Normal activity hasn’t worked because they haven’t been normally active.” She turned to Spock. “If we sleep-feed them all the knowledge they need to actually perform their duties…”
“Is that possible, Doctor?” Spock said dubiously. “The captain’s years of experience cannot be…”
“Not for the long term, agreed, “ Jade broke in. “but barring any emergency situation, what we can do should be enough to get us through the inspection.”
“Now wait just a minute,” McCoy exclaimed. “You can’t be serious! Dave Calvin wants James T Kirk, Valjiir, and Lieutenant Commander Sulu, not a pack of giddy teenagers. Their duties on the Bridge aren’t what he wants to impress the delegation with. Even knowing how to perform their duties won’t make them act like themselves.”
Spock considered for a minute. Finally he said, “Then, Doctor, we must teach them.”
It took several hours to prepare all the tapes necessary for the sleep-learning, and nearly that long to convince Ruth and Jilla that it had to be done. Ruth kept insisting that it wouldn’t work for her. Jilla was adamant that she already knew all she needed to about engineering. McCoy suggested that logs of their Bridge activity be worked into the process to allow them to at least observe how they normally acted. Jade concurred and when they finally got all four to sleep, it was nearing midnight. Spock received an updated ETA for the Et’Rasenn Delegation. Their transport would arrive at 1400 hours the following day.