Reaching Eden

by Mylochka and Cheryl Petterson

(Standard Year 2249)
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Go To Part Twenty-Three

Return To Part Twenty-One

PART TWENTY-TWO

Although Del thought that she was being much more gentle with her lover than she had been with him, Irina and Chekov both cried out in pain when she opened his lowest power centers.

DelMonde didn’t feel any effect from any inner light that may have been released. Then again, he told himself, it was hard to feel anything when you were holding onto a beast that seemed to be made of acid.

He looked at the back of Chekov’s neck. If this didn’t work, he knew the next option would be to kill the navigator in hopes of stopping the beast that way. DelMonde sighted the points on the Russian’s spine where he’d have to apply pressure and calculated how hard he’d have to twist.

“Hurry,” he urged Irina, sensing the approach of something even worse than the thing he had hold of.

The Divine Wind.

Del shook his head and tried to keep Chekov’s hands from closing around Irina’s neck as she worked her way up to his solar plexus. What kind of fucked up trip I on when I give him that name? he wondered abstractly.

As the answer to that question began to lay itself out quite logically, something finally started to give inside Chekov.

“Keep goin’! Keep goin’!” Del urged Irina, trying to decide if he would be able to ration out enough energy to save for the battle he’d face when his old friend came walking through those cargo bay doors.

When Irina hit the point over Chekov’s chest, the drag on the universes began to subside a little.

Del was beginning to doubt he’d have enough power to even hold on as long as this task was going to require. “Hurry, girl, hurry!”

The drain on Irina had to be enormous too. Tears of pain ran down her face as she hit a precise point in her lover’s throat.

The Beast’s growl morphed into a different sound that still wasn’t Chekov’s voice. It wasn’t the voice of angels either. It was the low keening of captive ghosts.

When she opened his third eye, the flow truly began to reverse itself.

Stolen strength began to trickle back into to Del. He was in the midst of taking in a deep breath in preparation for a relieved sigh when Irina opened the center at the top of the navigator’s head.

Not even the beast was prepared for the sudden flooding release of imprisoned energy. As it began to shatter and shred, Del could see now that the creature he’d been battling was not one solid entity. It was an amalgam of purloined energy and power unnaturally joined within the bottling sphere of Chione’s mind.

The beast strove briefly to retain some integrity, but there was nothing inside Chekov for it to grab onto. It screamed, then burst apart like a plasma bomb. Power spewed forth from the navigator uncontrollably. The Russian had become a metaphysical volcano.

Waves of wild energy splashed into the cargo bay, knocking everyone standing flat in its charge to return to its proper place. The rush of spiritual power beat against them mercilessly as it stormed past to fly back to the ghosts it had been taken from. Pure psychic force crashed over them like screaming tidal waves in its outraged haste to return to its rightful homes in the universe.

When the last of the beast’s energy had been expelled from him, Chekov dropped on top of Del like an empty sack. The engineer wondered if there was any way that there could be any of the Russian’s own soul still left inside him. He tried to roll the navigator away, but found he lacked the strength.

“Oh, this ain’t good,” Del thought, alarmed by his own weakness as he stretched out his mind for what he feared was still there.

And there she was. The Goddess. Stripped naked now, but still inside Chione – still waiting to be born. Waiting naked to be released by her bridegroom. Starting to suck in a protective layer of power already. Beginning the process of creating a new beast as though it were spinning a cocoon.

The open heart. The bleeding wound.

He blinked wearily as the angels began to sing a new song.

To hear the song, click here

When this began I had nothing to say
And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me
I was confused and I'd let it all out to find
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind
Inside of me when all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
Nothing to lose, just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own and the fault is my own

And suddenly it was there. Right in front of him. Where it had been the whole time. It was on top of him inside Chekov. It was across from him in Irina. The open heart. The bleeding wound. It was even inside Chione. The open heart. The bleeding wound.

Translation: Vulnerability. The need for healing.

Sweet Mary, that it? he asked the angels. I that fuckin’ dumb to miss it for this fuckin’ long? Wait, don’t answer that.

Instead they sang to him.

I wanna heal I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I felt so long
Erase all the pain till it's gone
I wanna heal I wanna feel
Like I’m close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

Pushing Chekov off him, he gathered up the last of his strength and crawled over to Chione.

When he drew near, she reached out and grabbed him. Even stripped of the beast, she was still capable of inflicting a respectable amount of damage. The corruption and insanity that was at the heart of the Goddess pounded at him as he gripped Chione tightly in his arms. Without planning to or wondering why, Del began to sing the song of the angels to her.

An' I got not'ing to say
I can't believe I didn’t fall right down on my face
I was confused lookin' ever'where only to find
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
So what am I, what do I have but negativity
‘Cause I can’t justify the way everyone is lookin' at me
Not'ing to lose, not'ing to gain, hollow an' alone
An' the fault is my own an' the fault is my own

He used the music as he had for, it seemed, an eternity, pushing at her power, pulling it into himself. He tasted its sweetness and its ugliness. It surprised him how much part of him coveted this dark power, longed to submerge within it. As always, the thin thread that tied him to Ruth cut through this desire like a guitar string cutting through flesh.

He took the darkness of the Goddess into his being, then expelled it, keheil-like, spewing it out into the Void that had opened up before him.

I wanna heal I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I felt so long
Erase all the pain till it’s gone
I wanna heal I wanna feel
Like I’m close to somet'ing real
I want to find somet'ing I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anyt'ing else, until my wounds are healed
I will never be anyt'ing till I break away from me
I will break away
I'll find myself today

Chione moaned and writhed in his arms like some inhuman creature impaled on the stake of its own decadence. Del drew out the venom, spitting it to the angels, who gobbled it up, transforming it to radiance, blowing it away with their multi-colored breath. The light surrounded him, blinding him, filling the blackness, turning it inside out. He grabbed Chione’s darkness, the words and music he couldn’t contain bombarding it with a shadow to match and out pace all she had tried to create.

I wanna heal I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I felt so long
Erase all the pain till it's gone
I wanna heal I wanna feel
Like I’m close to somet'ing real
I want to find somet'ing I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I wanna heal I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong
I wanna heal I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong

With a sudden crash, the struggle was over. The black hole closed up in front of him, imploding in on itself, disappearing in the wink of an eye. Chione was now only Chione, crying in his arms. He let her go, and the music stopped.

“Pasha,” Irina was saying, kneeling over Chekov.

“He dead?” Del asked tiredly, crawling back in their direction as Chione curled herself into a ball and continued to weep.

“No,” Irina answered, smiling.

“What happened?” Chekov asked, groggily pushing himself up onto his elbows.

“Oh, not'ing much,” Del replied with all the sarcasm he could muster.

The navigator rubbed his eyes. “Did we succeed?”

“Good God, T-Paul.” DelMonde exclaimed, shaking his head. “Always a day late an' a fuckin’ dollar short.”

The navigator frowned at him. “What?”

“Use your motherfuckin’ brain, son,” Del said, rapping him on the forehead. “Would I be wastin’ my motherfuckin’ time talkin’ to you if we not succeeded? Which, I may add, we did even in spite o' your dumbassed stunt.”

“Oh, oh… She’s gone.” Chione was moaning. “She’s gone, Reeny. Gone. Gone. Gone. What does it mean?”

Irina looked at him and suddenly Del knew what he had to do to repay her for her help. When she rose and turned her back on them, he took Chekov by the shoulders and kept him from following.

“They’ve… They’ve taken Her from me,” Chione’s voice was like that of a lost little girl’s. “Reeny, what does it mean?”

Love, sister,

The angels in Del’s head reprised their old song,

It’s just a kiss away
It’s just a kiss away

“Irina,” Chekov protested as his lover moved to take her friend into her arms.

“Reeny?” Chione asked, her eyes full of tears. “Does this mean that we’re free?”

Irina gently brushed the tears from the other woman’s cheeks. “No,” she said, revealing her final secret. “As long as we live, they will find a way to try again.”

It’s just a kiss away
It’s just a kiss away

“No!” Chekov cried at the sight of the tiny phaser in Irina’s hand.

Del held him back as the Russian girl tenderly wrapped Chione’s hand around the weapon and placed it between the two of them as they embraced.

It’s just a kiss away
It’s just a kiss away

“This is the only freedom for us,” Irina smiled and brushed her lips against Chione’s forehead as she pressed the trigger.

It’s just a kiss away
Kiss away, kiss away

“No! No!” Chekov’s body convulsed and shuddered against the engineer as the two women’s bodies glowed brightly for an instant then faded away to nothing. “No, my Irina! No! No!”

“It okay, son,” Del said, holding him although he could feel his own strength waning. “It gonna be okay.”

The angels began to whisper to him in images of a beautiful garden.

“Time to go already, fellas?” he asked wearily.

“What are you saying?” Chekov demanded. “Let go of me.”

“I guess so…” Del let his hands fall down his roommate’s shoulders as he internally loosened the thin thread inside him and let it slip free. “I so, so, so tired…” he said as the angels carried him away.

**********XXXXX**********

He felt it as the beast that was commanding him fell into the Void. The pain that seared along his nervous system was intense, but it lasted only seconds – and he was used to pain lasting much longer than that. There was an instant of cold paralysis and his body began to collapse, the panic that engendered tearing at what sanity was left him.

No, came a malevolent voice within him. It’s nothing I can’t handle. You just go to sleep, my beautiful boy.

Sulu did. The Divine Wind kept moving purposefully into the cargo bay.

**********XXXXX**********

Ruth had raced back to the cargo bay. The xenoneurophene/amyneurophene combination sang in her blood, working as quickly as any Haven chemical. She knew in an instant what was happening, the storm that the Cajun had thrown himself into. With all the amped up power at her command, she pushed her way into the maelstrom, seeking only to heal Del and give him the strength to do what had to be done.

Sweet Mary, that it? she heard him ask the spirits that floated all around him. I that fuckin’ dumb to miss it for this fuckin’ long? Wait, don’t answer that.

It wasn’t a healing that a keheil could have accomplished. That training demanded that the healer die to save her patient. This had to be more like the sh’nal. Del had to kill the beast without taking its death, and without killing Chione’s body.

The open heart. The bleeding wound.

Find the goodness! she cried to Del. Find the love!

Her words were swallowed up in the dark music that welled within him, but the words that roared from it were the right ones.

I wanna heal I wanna feel
Like I’m close to something real
I want to find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

She sank to her knees, maintaining the steady flow of emotion to him, all the love she had always felt for him, all that she knew he felt for her. It strengthened him and though she couldn’t tell if he knew it was coming from her, it didn’t matter. She echoed his words back to him: True strength lies in how much – despite everything – I am able to love.

**********XXXXX**********

Jeremy crouched protectively, almost hovering over Ruth’s kneeling body. There was music in his head, loud and cacophonous, and it was all he heard of the battle that he knew was taking place in front of him. He heard footsteps but didn’t take his concentration off of Ruth. If the Antari stopped breathing again, he wanted to be ready to do all he could to save her life.

“Cobra, what the hell’s going on?” Sakura’s voice asked.

“I don’t know,” he grunted. “NC’s fightin’ somethin’ inside Pony-Tail-Girl over there, I think with Irina’s help – and god only knows what Tovarish is doin’.”

“I thought it was weird when Pavel barged in on me and Phen, demanding drugs.”

Paget glanced at her. “Chekov demanded drugs?” he asked, then his gaze flickered to the foursome on the floor of the cargo bay. They looked for all the world like a rough-trade orgy. “Maybe he thought some xenoneurophene would open up his psychic silence,” he mused, “though to what end…”

“Phen said people sometimes freak out,” Sakura rejoined, dropping next to Paget and Valley. “Negative energy, he said, and that they always seem to go after Chione and Irina.”

“Yeah, I just bet they do,” Jeremy muttered. “Who wouldn’t freak out when they know what that little bitch is doin’?”

He heard the yeoman taking a deep breath. “Jer, just what is she doing?”

“All I know right now is she’s tryin’ to kill NC.”

“Not anymore,” a darkly amused voice said from above them.

**********XXXXX**********

“Kam?” Sakura said, starting to rise to her feet. The Divine Wind reached down, grabbing her arm, pulling her into a savage kiss.

“Mmm, you’re so sweet, bishouuke,” he murmured. He felt her struggle and chuckled at it, holding her to him as she relented, holding still until she was responding with urgency of her own. Then he threw her away from him with casual brutality, not caring that she hit the wall of the cargo bay with a sickening thud. He again reached down, tangling his hand in the tight curls of Jeremy’s hair, noting with satisfaction that the weeks of new growth made that a much easier task.

“On your knees, Cobra,” he whispered. He could feel the TerAfrican’s heart pounding in his chest, the hungry need and helpless desire that was at the center of Paget’s soul. “Do you love me?” he breathed. “Do you serve me?”

“Sulu… I… I can’t…” the security officer managed. The grip against his scalp tightened.

“Do what I tell you, Jeremy,” The Divine Wind murmured, his body nearly flowing into a crouch. His other hand came to Paget’s throat, grasping his jaw. “We both know what you want, baby. And it’s been far too long since I’ve had the opportunity to take my time with you.”

“Li – LiLing – “ Jeremy rasped and the fingers of The Divine Wind closed off his air supply.

“That’s not a name we say anymore, is it, honey?” he growled, but he was grinning. “Too bad you had to mention it.”

With sudden ferocity, he released his hold on Jeremy’s hair and stood from his crouch, his foot swinging back, taking aim at Paget’s solar plexus. When the kick connected, the security man’s body flew back, the air pushed completely out of his lungs.

The Divine Wind turned his attention to the concentrated energy that emanated from Ruth’s being. It was bright and pure, and it hurt his eyes. There was a force inside him that wanted to shy away, but he laughed and held it, fixed it to that golden power. Can’t take a little pain? he sneered at it. Some big bad beast you are. Didn’t anyone ever teach you to relax, accept, endure?

There was a sense in which the thing couldn’t feel at all, and another in which it was only the physical host who suffered – and both were unacceptable to The Divine Wind.

You think there’s strength in avoiding pain? he questioned, then laughed. No, my sweet little beast. Pain hardens. Pain forges. It is pain that tempers you and makes you into the unbreakable blade. Only enduring all they can do will truly transform you. He took a silent breath, expanding his own divinity out around it, summoning it from the edges of its last ripple of energy, whispering power and hedonism to feed it – and control it. You must know it, and fear it, and want it, he crooned to it. You must fear the wanting, and, my pet, you must want the fear. I can teach you. I can forge you. Enslave yourself to my will. Sacrifice yourself on my altar – and I will give you all that you deserve.

It was purring within him now, eating up the pain that came with the music murmuring in his head.

I wanna heal I wanna feel
Like I’m close to something real…

Right sentiment, wrong words, The Divine Wind thought. This is real, he snarled with malicious amusement, and gathered all his strength, aiming the unbreakable blade at the thread that bound Ruth to the black-eyed boy.

**********XXXXX**********

Ruth caught the sudden intrusion of flashing steel and raised a shield of gold against it. Her arms and legs started burning, and she sent healing power through her long bones, stopping the spread of the poison. She felt the surprise of the consciousness that had invaded her connection to Del – then, with horror, recognized it: raw need and pain, manipulation, coercion, dark pleasure and ferocity, guilt and hunger, anger and mind-numbing terror.

Sulu.

But the raw need was feeding from the pain, the guilt was consumed by the hunger, and the terror had been transmuted to ecstatic, gleeful arrogance.

You’re stronger than you were, his dark voice murmured to her, both annoyed and condescendingly pleased. Good. You’ll make that much better a feast.

Roy, no! she cried to him. It’s the amber, the amyneurophene! You’ve been feeding off of that thing inside Chione! This isn’t you!

Ah, but it is, he assured her. More than he ever wanted you to know. He chuckled. Me, now, I don’t give a damn what you know. I only want to taste all that golden honey.

She felt him reaching for her, felt, too, the urgent humming sound that was pulling her toward him. It wasn’t a matter of fighting it. It was a caress, a seduction, he was making her want to surrender. The love she kept in her thoughts was giving it strength, not weakening it as it had the beast. Maybe if I think of it as ugly and repulsive… she thought urgently.

His laughter was frightening. Like I care what you think of me. You’ll come to me, golden one. I can make you want to, you know I can.

Ruth desperately cast about for something, anything to put in his way, but all her mind could come up with was the song she had associated with him for so long.

To hear the song, click here

Something in my heart died last night
One more chip off an already broken heart
I think the heart broke long ago
That’s when I needed you
When I needed you most

I run around like a spirit in flight
Fearlessness is fearlessness
I will not forget this night
Dare my wild heart

In dark sorrow, they gaze down into the darkest heart
If I leave you, you say not even you can tear us apart

Then, with sudden clarity came the memory of the words he’d spoken to her so recently, words to try and explain what he’d done with LiLing.

I am a collector. I do enjoy alien tastes, alien pleasures, I was promiscuous and egotistical… worthless, arrogant, using whore. I was using Jilla, using her and she worshipped me. She forsook her vows, damned herself, all for me; terrible, vile, odious me. They were right, the Elihuites had me pegged. How could I be worth all she gave? I never wanted her to see it, Ruth, just like I never wanted… But she’s Indiian. She can’t help feeling it.

Jilla.

Ruth took a deep, silent breath and called out with all her might.

**********XXXXX**********

JILLA!

On the Bridge of the Enterprise, Jilla went suddenly rigid. Ruth’s voice thundered in her mind, a plea of urgency and terror. She blinked, unable to respond, turning away from the Engineering board.

Spock gasped, hearing his wife’s desperate cry. The terror of the last two times she had tried to make contact with him filled him. Thoughts of what the tetrodotoxin would do to her tore at him – but he was suddenly aware of what she needed, of what he had to do to save her. With quick, determined strides he crossed the Bridge, ignoring the captain’s startled reaction and McCoy’s unheard questions. He swept Jilla into his arms and moved with her to the turbolift.

“Spock, what the hell…?” Jim called, and the Vulcan had only enough time for a harsh,

“Trust me!”

When the turbolift doors closed, Spock quickly voice-locked the car. He set Jilla on the deck, staring into her wide, frightened grey eyes. “I must link with you,” he told her. “Ruth must join you with Sulu. I have no time to be gentle, rilain.”

The Indiian nodded and Spock placed his hands against the side of her face.

We are here, beloved, he sent to Ruth.

**********XXXXX**********

We are here, beloved.

Ruth spared no time to thank the Zehara. She grasped onto Jilla’s awareness and thrust it forcibly between her and Sulu’s malevolence. He won’t hurt her, she told herself, hoping like hell it was the truth. The Indiian’s mental voice sounded small and confused – but not frightened.

Sulu?

**********XXXXX**********

The Divine Wind paused in his pursuit of the Antari. There was something else before him, something sweeter, fresher – something already willing. Silver one? he asked delightedly.

I am here, my love. What is wrong?

Wrong? He laughed. Nothing, little one, nothing at all. How thoughtful, he said to Ruth. You’ve brought me an appetizer before the main course.

Appetizer? Jilla asked in confusion. Main course?

Something stirred within him, something protective and gentle. The Divine Wind glared at it. Get back where you belong.

She is where I belong

Jilla, help him! the Antari’s voice begged.

Sulu? came the soft voice. Celletyea, tu’ros.

There was an automatic response to that, and it escaped from his mind before he could think to stop it.

Cortayel, tu’emi.

You are in need, his wife murmured to him. I am here, I can ease you now as I did before.

Yes, I need you!

The Divine Wind growled. The purring of the thing he held became tentative.

Come to me, my love. Jilla’s welcome pierced him. I am yours, I love you, I belong to you. Come to me.

The open heart. The bleeding wound. I want to find something I’ve wanted all along.

Fear me! he cried to the longed-for yet undeserved peace that waited within the glowing presence.

We are damned together, my love, she whispered to him. How can I fear you?

I can hurt you! he threatened.

It is our due. Come to me.

Damn you…!

Yes, and I love you no less. You love me no less. Come to me, my love.

Somewhere I belong.

Jilla! Sulu cried out to her, and she reached for him. The ghost of the beast fled. The Divine Wind roared in final, frustrated menace, then buried itself back deep within Sulu’s being.

**********XXXXX**********

Ruth and Spock simultaneously turned their awareness from the intensity that flowed between Sulu and Jilla.

Beloved, the neurotoxin… Spock began.

I found a way to fight it, Ruth returned, at least for a little while, she added as the ache in her long bones began once again. Can you keep Sulu and Jilla linked?

There was a touch of surprise in Spock’s mental voice. Yes. But how…?

Roy’s more powerful, the Antari explained. He doesn’t need me right now.

A most interesting effect of the amyneurophene, my wife.

No time for god I love it when you talk that way, Ruth replied. Del’s dying. I have to help him.

Go, beloved.

Ruth broke the contact with her Vulcan husband and scrambled across the cargo bay. Chekov was slumped, his arms tightly crossed over his chest, weeping softly. The Antari felt his grief and anguish, but turned her empathy away from it. The navigator was in pain, but he would live. If she didn’t reach Del in time…

The lean, lanky body was lying on the deck just in front of Pavel’s sorrowing form; not sprawled, not curled, simply prone, inert. There was no movement in the chest. Del wasn’t breathing. Ruth knelt beside him, gently placing her hands against that warm stillness.

Del, she called softly. It’s over, come home.

**********XXXXX**********

Go To Part Twenty-Three

Return To Part Twenty-One

Gimme Shelter by The Rolling Stones
Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park
Wild Heart by Stevie Nicks

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