I'm tired. As Leonard would say, 'bone-tired'. Maybe that's why James calls him 'Bones'. Ah, James, will I ever hear that again? It's far too soon to be this discouraged. It's only because I'm exhausted.
Getting James settled here was more difficult than I anticipated. He called for his nurse and got hysterical when told that she was no longer caring for him. I had to argue with Admiral Baker, Jude's administrator, to keep James out of restraints. It’s very frustrating: a bureaucrat doesn’t understand that rules and regs aren't written in stone; particularly where psychiatric patients are concerned. Which is undoubtedly contributing to my discouragement.
James is calm now — unfortunately through medication. I believe it's imperative to get his system free of the chemicals forced into it. He has to fight this thing; James Kirk has to beat it, and he needs a clear mind to give him the strength necessary. But he also needs rest — and he was far too over-stimulated by the admitting process. No one addressed him directly, of course; standard procedure, but disastrous. A part of him is still Captain Kirk. That part demanded recognition and to be in command. He fought to state his identity, to demand a status report... which only triggered the pain and madness. And then his nurse was not there. It was harrowing. Horrible. To see him crumble like that... to weep and cower....
Gods, can I bear it?
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